this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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The government doesn't use SQL (programming.dev)
submitted 1 day ago by suy@programming.dev to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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See the post on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/provisionalidea.bsky.social/post/3lhujtm2qkc2i

According to many comments, the US government DOES use SQL, and Musk is not understanding much what's going on.

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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 29 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Maybe it’s all just one big .xlsm file?

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Using pivot tables.

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nah, that’s too fancy. It’s all held together by some arcane Visual Basic macro someone wrote 25 years ago right before going to retirement and no one has dared to touch it ever since.

[–] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Qbasic, if that.

Biden is a blue dog and never cared about infrastructure. Trump cant spell the word. Obama did, but for overpriced drones and oil. Bush only did for oil and deregulated to make things worse. Clinton cut thing Bush Sr cut things. Reagan fucked everything up with "trickle down"

Meaning the last president that did major infrastructure spending is at best Carter, Ford or Nixon.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I laughed but really I know when the last good database and systems people left government to be replaced by contractors. It was Bush's first term. Since then everything has been just putting a new front end on the back end government programmers created in the 1990's.

[–] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Glad you laughed, wasnt entirely serious

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I don't think we can be. We'd be paralyzed if we tried to be wholly serious.

[–] tisktisk@piefed.social 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Holy mother of visual basic

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

*visual basic for applications

[–] tisktisk@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

being corrected by a nsfw acc was not on my lemmy bingo list lol

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like boobs and I came in contact with way too many horrible languages ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh god, like Hungarian?

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 day ago

More like php, VBA or Scala. I know, many like Scala, but... Nah.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

with vlookups across multiple sheets to get around row limitations, that's just common sense in MyExcelDB

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

I could see it all being a big vendor specific XML file with XSLT for the application layer