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Could we improve men’s mental health?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Disclaimer at the beginning, my reply is purely anecdotal and based on my own life and experiences. I can't speak for everyone else.
I really don't think that talk therapy is best suited for most men. Men don't process emotions, conflict, or fears in the same way that women do. We have been shaped differently by societal norms, and don't have the same foundation to process our issues simply by talking about them. We have been taught to shut up and deal with situations on our own. Talking about our struggles and asking for help is a sign of weakness, and even if we manage to ask for help, the chances that we will truly open up are slim.
Again, I can only really speak for myself, but for talk therapy to truly be effective it has to be more than just talk. We need a foundation; maybe starting with something like cognitive behavioral therapy to give us the tools to understand how to process our emotions would be a good start. Men are taught to understand and explore only a small handfull of emotions. Anger, jealousy, fear, happiness, and if we're lucky, love.
I personally have had to do a lot of work on my own self, and my own understanding of my emotional landscape, just to begin to be able to open up. I can honestly say that even if I had spoken with a therapist - and I have had the opportunity to do so - that it probably wouldn't have been useful to me, at least not in the past. Maybe now it would be useful to talk to a therapist, but in working on myself I feel that I have also learned to move past many of my own issues, or at the very least am on the right path to be able to handle them on my own.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
So I honestly believe that therapy for men would look vastly different…
It would be a gym, or an auto shop, or woodworking shop where you can work with your hands while you talk about it. You’re entirely right, men deal with it differently, and the biggest thing we do differently is that we talk while DOING something rather than just sitting on a couch.
Open a wood shop where I can spend an hour a week building a shitty spice rack while talking to someone about my issues, etc…
Anyways, I have done plenty of regular therapy, but I can see why many men struggle with it