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Monogamy is very often an extremely toxic factor in many relationships.
I feel there is no good reason to artificially limit your number of romantic/sexual partners to 1. I do, however, think there are good reasons for monogamy such as lowering risk of STDs or if you don't have the mental capacity to care for two partners. However, if you can make it work, I don't see any issue with polyamory.
Monogamy often allows some less healthy facets of people flourish. Sometimes people will be like "oh I'm just so jealous I can't help it. I don't like when he plays soccer on that co-ed community team, so I don't let him". Like, what. That's so immature and untrusting.
I was going to post something a bit like this too. I think perhaps a lot of people on lemmy are on board with this idea, but if I talked like that around family, work colleges, or even friends - I think I'd get a lot of pushback.
Amen.
Nobody takes issue with the idea that people can't own people. Until they're in a relationship and they start thinking of their partner as their property.
The insecurity around the all-or-nothing nature of monogamy creates all of the problems in monogamy.
Plus: orgies. Like. What's the point of living without orgies?
Sex with one person, forever, no group sex, incessant discussions around fidelity driven by insecurity, gee, where do I sign up?
Relationships come with boundaries and limits though, right? You're treating monogamy as ownership, but that's backwards. My partner free to have sexual relationships with whomsoever they want; however, they aren't free to have any relationship at all with me if that's a choice they make.
I affirmatively chose my partner; when I made the choice for them, it meant that I made a choice to give up my sexual and romantic autonomy to pursue the relationship with them. I can take my autonomy back at any time, but if I do, I also permanently give up the relationship that I have; that is a boundary that they set, and I knew that when I chose the relationship.
I have been in polyerotic/multiamorous relationships. What is lacking in them is depth. Building relationships takes time, and time is always more limited in poly relationships. The more partners you have, the shallower each relationship gets. Oh, yes, I know that poly people will say that love is infinite. And perhaps they're even correct. But the time you can spend with each person is very definitely finite.