So, a while ago it came out that my uncle（who's from outside the family and married in) cheated on my aunt (mom's sister).
They're still married. Honestly not sure what they'll do since he is the one with the job and our family doesn't have enough to support her and her children.
But I just don't get it. I get falling out of love or even finding other people besides your spouse attractive, but cheating is just such a layered lasagna of shit.
1.You want to eat your cake and have it too. (There's an entire community of people who cheat on their spouses called "cake eaters."). I don't understand what you get out of that though unless you're just really lustful (and even I wouldn't do that and I'm a lustful removed). If you want to break up/divorce that's fine but you can't just have emotional/physical relationships without changing anything. Which leads to point 2
2.How little fucking respect do you have for your wife and family? Because the thing is that youre denying your partner any autonomy in the relationship. You dont even respect them enough to even talk about it, or you don't respect them enough to think they deserve to know about it or will ever find out.
I mean look, there been some stories I've heard where I understand, if the relationship is already dead. It still sucks but I can understand if it's inevitable anyway. But otherwise i just can't conceptualize how selfish and shit you have to be to do it.
And I wouldn't ask if it wasn't so common. I mean it doesn't happen in every relationship but it's so common basically everyone is paranoid their partner is cheating on them. So I just really don't get it
You will find that most people simply do not consider the consequences of their actions, or think things through at all, before doing things.
On top of that neurotypical people tend to be ok with doing morally bad things if they think nobody will know. Where as people with ADHD or ASD etc tend to follow their own moral code regardless of who is watching.
Combine these two things, and inhibition reducing narcotics like alcohol being involved at times and its no wonder these things are common.
where in the hell did you come up with the generalization that people with adhd are moral in their behaviours than people without an adhd diagnosis?
You need to first understand that morality is subjective. We are talking about a persons own personal opinions on morality. Their moral compass. A racists moral compass says that racism is okay. Most people would disagree with them on that.
As for where i am getting it. Scientific research. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31489833/ https://neurolaunch.com/autism-moral-rigidity/ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691823000719 https://neuroclastic.com/autistic-people-care-too-much-research-says/ Quotes from this one: https://www.jneurosci.org/content/41/8/1699
"ASD participants and healthy control subjects (HCs) decided in public or private whether to incur a personal cost for funding a morally good cause (Good Context) or receive a personal gain for benefiting a morally bad cause (Bad Context). Compared with HC, individuals with ASD were much more likely to reject the opportunity to earn ill gotten money by supporting a bad cause than were HCs. Computational modeling revealed that this resulted from heavily weighing benefits for themselves and the bad cause, suggesting that ASD participants apply a rule of refusing to serve a bad cause because they evaluate the negative consequences of their actions more severely."
Its not that they are more moral per say it's that they are more rigid in their morality and less likely to make exceptions to their own personal moral code. A person who cheats usually will know what they are doing is morally wrong (being that if they were the one being cheated on they wouldn't like it), but they will rationalize an exception for their specific case as to why it is ok for them to cheat. To justify their own actions to themselves. A neurodivergent person is much less likely to do this sort of rationalization. Since they just generally speaking do not make as many exceptions to their own moral code.
Im inclined to agree, so many behaviors are attributed to autism when id say its more just people with good moral compasses and who have empathy enough to consider how actions affect others.
Of course, people with autism may be inclined that way, i've also met complete reactionary fash who are autistic, its a bit tokenizing.
Morality is learned. Fascists do not see themselves as the villains. In their eyes what they are doing is justified, and moral. Even Hitler would have seen himself as the good guy. Saying someone has a strong morality is not saying they strongly allign with your moral compass. It's saying they more strictly follow their own moral compass. This is why fascists spend so much time dehumanizing the people they commit violence against. They don't see it as morally wrong to kill those people because they have convinced themselves, or someone else has convinced them, that those people are inhuman. That its actually a good thing all the violence thats happening.
You can read studies on the differences in neurodivergent morality. https://www.jneurosci.org/content/41/8/1699 I'm not tokenizing i am nuerodivergent myself. This is a, while maybe not fully understood, pretty widely observed behavior difference.
I can't see the comment to directly respond to it on Hexbear for some reason, but do you have a source for the ADHD portion of the claim? The source seems to only concern ASD, not ADHD.
I do not no i just listed 2 of the most common neurodivergences thats why it says etc too. I was talking about neurodivergent people in general. Keep in mind this is some study i read years ago i just had to search up to find for you so it wasnt exactly fresh in my mind when i made that comment lol.
When you are reading that study notice it wasn't just a study of autistic people but of neurotypical people too. The neurotypical group were the ones more likely to engage in the "bad" option behavior. Since this study specifically selected for ASD and Neurotypical people you cant make any determination on ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergents from it specifically.
So i did make a mistake there the non-ASD neurodivergents should be their own group as an unknown as to how they'd generally respond. But i would guess theres atleast a bit of overlap with ASD and some other types of nuerodivergency on this. Since its pretty common to have overlaps like that.
So we have,
Neurotypicals: Data shows their moral decision making is more flexible especially when not being observed.
ASD: Data shows them as much more moraly rigid and even when not observed will do what they feel is morally correct more often.
ADHD, and other neurodivergencies: No Data
Gotcha, I know ADHD has an extremely high occurrence rate on ASD diagnosed people so it would be elevated if not simply for the fact that this behavior is common in ASD folk as is ADHD (I believe roughly 70% of people tested diagnosed with ASD who test for ADHD are diagnosed with that as well though this is me also vaguely recalling a study I read some time ago). I wasn't sure if there was information I had missed regarding similar trends in ADHD populations when controlled for ASD co-occurrence.