this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Analysis …
You should eat more fiber. You wipe too hard but somehow also not enough? You sat 23.64 minutes longer than required, you’re at risk for a hemorrhoid. You have a 22.5% chance of acquiring cancer.
There’s protein in the specimen. I caught a glimpse of the images displayed on your phone. Disregard previous assessment, why did you acquire me when you already provide such thorough analysis?
You have 4 more Throne(tm) iCUPs remaining. Ordering more for you now. Rent is due on the 5th and you no longer have the funds available to pay. Stop killing kittens and go get a third job.
This analysis concluded, brought to you by Bridgefjord smoked beef jerky.
Ok.......but, why is this guy killing kittens??? I'm rooting for the cancer.
Ancient internet meme
Fuck that meme is so old it has Domo in it