[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 56 minutes ago

Where's Ireland???

"Lana, I remembered a key detail about the target. He's from a country that was an axis power."

"How did you get Axis power from Ireland???"

"Were they not?"

"THEY WERE NEUTRAL! YOU ASSHOLE!"

"None of this actually matters. I'm actually Canadian."

"WHAT???"

"Yeah. I grew up in Alberta."

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 points 1 hour ago

“People consuming anything that they”re told to consume... so, I am the villain because I’ve made myself one. And you will continue to consume these stories about me. Year after year, after year, for as long as I tell the internet that I am the villain. Stories that permeate and linger, and infect the minds of the ants. Influence the ants. Brainwash the ants. You are the ants,” he said.

Me: "Who?"

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Me? I was talking about YOU! Its your rule.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 21 points 2 hours ago

Cat has a point. When I had cats, they ALWAYS got weirded out everytime I cleaned their box. Karmalee especially would run back into her litter box, dig around in the fresh litter, then look at me like "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? WHERE'S MY TREASURE???"

She wouldn't poop. Just dig around trying to find the missing poop. Then she'd look at me like a weirdo. She was very judgemental everytime I cleaned her box.

Speed on the other hand would look at me in confusion. Like ".......but why? Why do you collect the poop? What am I not getting here? Help me understand...."

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Guess you gotta stop breathing oxygen. I'm sober.

-4

Like if I see a woman just walking alone, or in a group of other humans, meh. That's not interesting.

But if she has a dog with her? NOW I'm interested in looking. Then she gets nervous as I approach, as confused as my gaze continuously goes farther down as we get closer. Until she realizes I'm more interested in her dog than her.

Yeah, ok, you're wearing a lowcut top, with your boobs halfway out.......but THIS A GOOD BOI!!!

So her intentions are counterproductive to the end result. The dogs are so much more interesting. But the vibe I get from these women is that they feel like they're in danger......psssh, maybe in danger of me stealing their dog and running away!

Nah. I don't have enough room in my place to steal a cities worth of dogs.......but maybe I could start a business where you come in, and get to be in a room full of dogs, and you could pet them, and give them treats. But then you gotta walk them. And clean their poop on the walk. But if you don't come back, we assume you adopted that dog. And we charge your credit card an adoption fee! And then we steal even MORE dogs!!!

And soon McDonalds buys us, and expands the business globally. So now we steal EVERYBODIES dogs! But then they have issues because now people are complaining that people are stealing their dogs. But you can't like....OWN dogs, man!

And thats when the hippie movement gets involved, and they buy all the stock in this company, because we launched an IPO.

So now we sell cannabis and play No Doubt and Sublime in our compounds. And that's when people start breeding dogs en masse at home, because our prices have gotten out of control over the decades as we've gained a monopoly over dogs.

And so with all this dog breeding going on, dogs have evolved to have a blue fur. And this pisses off the christians because it proves evolution is a very real thing. But the dogs also evolve to speak human language, walk on hind legs, and have opposable thumbs.

As the christians and the catholics are protesting dogs, the muslims take offense to the existance of the christians and catholics.

So now USA is going to war with all the muslim middle eastern countries. And since the dogs want no part of this, they learn to build and sail boats, and take to the shores in pursuit of Africa.

Finding very little resistance in their governments, the dogs unite all the African nations to be Doglandia. And they pay to scientificly advance their space craft. Because they now understand how crazy humans are. And they can build a new society on Mars.

So now in the year 2499 Mars declairs war on Earth. And that's how humanity dies. All because I look at dogs and women are offended by that.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

I'm sure your wife loves you....

"Babe, why do you only last 2 minutes when we make love?"

"I'm first to cum! I win at sex!"

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 35 points 14 hours ago

Was anyone else expecting it to be /u/ SatansMaggotyCumFart based on the title?

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago

There are MANY reasons that Lemmy won't replace Reddit.....the list is almost endless, with each individual reason not being a hurdle on its own that can't be solved. However the combined number of problems is just mind blowing.

There is one chief problem that sums up all the little problems quite nicely. It's the Fediverse culture. It's somehow a platform that is designed to be open and free, but because of the userbase comes off as a walled garden. If you're not a programmer, or a linux user, or have techie interests, it's not the platform for you. And in order to even be comparible to reddit, it has to be a platform for everyone.

As it stands though, Lfmmy is a disjointed, unorganized mess that if you aren't part of their clique, you're not welcome. If you say anything bad about linux, or star trek, or github, you get downvoted to hell. Ask me how I know.

Oh, and for the record, linux is ALSO a confusing hot mess for the average person. But until linux developers accept this, and make a linux distro that is as easy to understand as windows, it's userbase will remain something akin to a rounding error for windows userbase numbers. And I'm saying that as someone who's remaining on Windows 7, because everything since has been hot garbage.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

I still think she should do the entire debate with trump in a bad SNLesque trump impersonation that mocks him at every turn.

Then turns to him and says "Yeah, I DARE you to do an impersonation of a black woman on national TV. I got you by balls, bitch!"

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 17 hours ago

"P......O.....R......~~N~~...T"

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

I think they should have mini olympics every year. Events that are more local athletes compete with local athletes to see who qualifies for their country at the main olympics in 4 years.

And professional athletes would ABSOLUTELY qualify! The olympics is supposed to be the best of the best. Why WOULDN'T you want the 1992 dream team representing your country in basketball if you have it available??? Suck it other countries! America knows how to play with our balls!!!......wait.......

18

So I just signed up for Mbin at Fedia.IO, and part of the registration says it will send out an email to complete the registration. Great!

It's been like 10 minutes with nothing in "all mail" and nothing in the trash or spam folders either. Is this something I need to wait a while for, or has something gone wrong, and I should contact their staff somehow?

49

I wish the fediverse would just stick to one set of jargon, and everybody uses the same terms to mean the same thing. Even "instances" should just be called "servers". That's all it is. This server talks to that servers, and information is exchanged.

So, if I understand this right, "magazines" on Mbin are the same as "communities" on Lemmy, are the same as subreddits on reddit. Three names to mean the same thing.

And a "Thread" is just a post. Like I'm making a post right now on Lemmy. If I did this on Mbin it would be called a "Thread".

But then I see there's also "comments" which is self explanitory (I hope...)

And there's also "Posts". But if Threads are posts, then what are Posts?

QUIT FUCKING AROUND WITH TERMS, FEDIVERSE! LETS ALL JUST KEEP THINGS SIMPLE!!!

........I keep thinking I have things figured out, until someone says "yeah, but have you tried this?" and then I look into it, and I'm confused again. Arg!

58

Toad has good taste! Cherry? Good pez! Raspberry? Good pez! Lemon? Usually that spot is Grape, and Lemon is better than Grape!

Cameo appearances by Mario and KK Slider.

17

Saw this at a local store, and couldn't stop laughing. Although, his love relationship with Catwoman, a woman in leather with a whip, makes a lot more sense now.

78

So I feel like I'm doing peertube wrong. I'm trying to find good content, but it feels like every single instance I find is just "here's the linux news, here's the new linux tips, here's the linux gossip, linux linux linux!"

And I do not give a shit about linux. I learned long ago that I'm not smart enough to figure it out. I just want to find the non-tech, non-video game content. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to search all the instances, all at once, and see what the system recommends.

I don't have a peertube account. I have a piefed account. I'm not against getting a peertube account, but at this point, it's ruining the whole point of the fediverse. If I need to register for a peertube account to have a decent experience, what's the point in having all these services be interconnected. Registering for peertube account would be the THIRD account I would have for the fediverse. But at this point, I just want to find the content.

85

So, I was thinking that I joined Lemmy.World because Lemmy had more users than MBin. But today I was looking at https://mbin.cocopoops.com/ and started seeing MY posts. I knew Mbin could have different instances. I knew Lemmy could have different instances. And I knew they all federated together.

But I didn't know Mbin could federate with Lemmy. But I'm sure Lemmy/Mbin probably won't federate with Pixelfed, or Peertube.

Mbin, piefed, and Lemmy are essentially reddit replacements. So they should be in a circle. It doesn't matter how many users Mbin has, or piefed has, or Lemmy has. It matters how many the full circle of federated reddit replacements have. Because thats the true circle of users that you can interact with.

So what we need is a website that you enter an instance, and it tells you how big your circle would be on that platform, and a list of federated, and defederated instances with it.

So Lemmy.World would have a pretty high circle. While hexbear would have only itself, if I understand right.

10
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world to c/shirtsthatgohard@lemmy.world

So I found this rather amusing. This is a Hudson News store, which if you've never been to an airport in your life, is kind of like a corner store....except in an airport. Inflated prices and all.

Anyways, they have this display, and I found it funny. I work at the airport, and yesterday these two shirts were facing each other. The red one is a trump 2024 shirt, and you can clearly see the other is a Harris 2024 shirt. They're meant to be facing each other as if they're debating. But somebody turned the red shirt to face a pillar. So It doesn't matter if you're outside the store (the perspective this display is meant to be seen from) or inside the store, no matter which direction you see it from, it's just a blank red shirt.

Now maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I like to think it means somebody saw the image of a trump shirt, and got so offended they turned a lifeless mannequin to reject the message of the shirt. Thus making a political statement about the placement of a mannequin due to it's shirts content.

And when you think about it, that's the MOST hard a shirt can go in 2024. It's not quite censorship, but it IS sending a message..........or hell, maybe I'm wrong and somebody bumped the damn thing.

For the record though, I'm pro-Harris. I mean, not enough to buy a $60 T-Shirt that doesn't fit me at an airport, but still.

13

So this may have been the weirdest dream I've had in a while. In this dream, MTV was actually still socially relevant to not only the music industry, but also pop culture, and current events. And they promoted the release of Taylor Swifts newest music video at 7:50pm. 10 minutes before that nights 8pm presidential debate. Which MTV would also be simucasting.

The weeks leading up to this, trump was accusing Swift of being trans, and secretly going to become black after the election. So she made a music viddo, and it became news. This was it's first airing.

It's a rap diss music video, in the style of Weird Al, except it's Taylor Swift. She's not doing black face, but she has an 80s style black guy mustache, and an aftro wig. She's wearing a grill apron with a grill filled with footlongs on one side, and cocktail weenies on the other. Behind her were 5 women in bikinis dancing near a pool, wearing trump masks. And whenever you saw this shot with Taylor grilling in the foreground, and dancers in the background, Taylor sang the chorus.

"Grillin weenie's, yours is teeny, mine is jumbo, like Mr Feeney."

And everytime they said "Mr Feeney", it cut to a quick 1 second shot of Mr Feeney from the 1990s ABC sitcom "Boy meets world". Each time he's holding a hot dog. They sing this chrorus 5 times in the song. Each time, that quick 1 second shot he's holding a bigger hot dog than the last shot of him.

Also, every time they sing the chorus and you see the dancers, one of their heads explodes, and falls down out of frame. Then she gets back up, still wearing the same trump mask, but this time with a bandage over the ear. She walks off screen giving the thumbs up. So each time the chorus runs, there's one less dancer.

I wish I could remember the whole song, but the only other line besides the chorus I remember was:

"If you think trump's financially hot, then you must be smoking pot, three casino bankruptcies later should tell you he's not. One presidency later left him looking like Darth Vader, took the files back home and prompted some FBI raiders. We're not putting a convict in power running scams with NFTs, Harris in white house, 2024 just trust me!"

And after the song is over, you see a 90s style crt tv turning off effect, and the perspective shifts to see Hank Hill having just turned off the tv. Ladybird sleeping on the floor in front of him.

"My god, that was completely disrespectful! She was using CHARCOAL while grilling those dogs! They must taste AWFUL! Boy I tell ya, Ladybird, that girl ain't right!"

Then he walks outside, and the batmobile is in his driveway. And Hank is confused and slightly annoyed.

Thats when I woke up.

WTF brain?

405
-45

Wish I knew how to add a second picture. I have another one with lettice.

147

After YEARS of wanting to try these, I finally found a local seller in my area who sells them. In case you've never seen the commercial, I've included a compilation of the whole saga. Best 6 1/2 minutes of your life ever spent.

Long Loooong MaaaaaAAAAAaaaaan!!!!

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Lost_My_Mind

joined 4 months ago