news
Welcome to c/news! Please read the Hexbear Code of Conduct and remember... we're all comrades here.
Rules:
-- PLEASE KEEP POST TITLES INFORMATIVE --
-- Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed. --
-- All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. --
-- If you are citing a twitter post as news please include not just the twitter.com in your links but also nitter.net (or another Nitter instance). There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/libredirect/ or archive them as you would any other reactionary source using e.g. https://archive.today/ . Twitter screenshots still need to be sourced or they will be removed --
-- Mass tagging comm moderators across multiple posts like a broken markov chain bot will result in a comm ban--
-- Repeated consecutive posting of reactionary sources, fake news, misleading / outdated news, false alarms over ghoul deaths, and/or shitposts will result in a comm ban.--
-- Neglecting to use content warnings or NSFW when dealing with disturbing content will be removed until in compliance. Users who are consecutively reported due to failing to use content warnings or NSFW tags when commenting on or posting disturbing content will result in the user being banned. --
-- Using April 1st as an excuse to post fake headlines, like the resurrection of Kissinger while he is still fortunately dead, will result in the poster being thrown in the gamer gulag and be sentenced to play and beat trashy mobile games like 'Raid: Shadow Legends' in order to be rehabilitated back into general society. --
view the rest of the comments
Case studies in cognitive dissonance. Riky Cohen's interesting, let's see what her poetry is like:
Poetry is supposed to express a lot with a little and this dumbass needed a dozen lines to say "I heard someone speak Chinese it was so scawy"
Well tbf it is saying a lot. Its screaming "I'm a racist I'm a racist" a million times over and over
There's a delightful little undergrad lecture in how to not write poetry buried in here. The rhythm (yes, you can have rhythm in free verse! It's okay! Strict adherence to meter isn't necessary but that doesn't mean one should simply chuck words in a blender!) is nonexistent; why are the dreams being invaded if they'd already been conquered; why the passive voice of "sleep is vanquished." Why the gerund "the slamming" when you could make it a straight onomatopoeia, why "the vehicle" when you could go simpler or more specific, either 'the car' or something about its make and model that signals that it's diplomatic? The diplomatic towncar's door slam // vanquishes sleep could probably do with some additional revision (by which I mean the whole poem should be tossed in the bin, but assuming we commit to trying to salvage it) but it's an improvement. There's some mystery in how the narrator would know it's a diplomatic vehicle given that she presumably is not fast asleep in the parking lot, but we can chalk that up to inference from another language being spoken or license.
How does one mumble not softly? "A nation of ambivalent feelings" is like an antimetaphor, it takes an idea and makes it less immediate and relatable. "My mother tongue is disorder" doesn't really seem to relate to the rest of the poem, which suggests that the disorder is being imposed by someone from outside your cultural context (Chinese/foreign tongue), so why is that your conclusion?
The more I look at it the more annoyed I get. You don't have to be a good person to write good poetry, but you do have to be an interesting person, or at absolute minimum a person who takes a keen interest and, if you aren't or don't, you get this drab and stilted style.