this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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But why is that even there? Are people really eating only some of the Oreos and then putting the rest away?
Well you see, moderation is key.
I unhinge my jaw like a snake and consume all the Oreos simultaneously.
Yeah, isn't it normal to eat a whole sleeve of Oreos and throw up on your mother's bed?
Whoa are you the sus guy
My parents would never allow that, but among my excesses in college: pulling all nighters with a package of double stuffed and a 2L bottle of Mountain Dew. Now I feel nauseous even thinking about it, and my heart probably wouldn’t hold out
Not willingly
Exactly. This is a regression, not an advancement. Now the package tries to close on me mid gluttony.
Like the "servings" unit for nutritions which lists 2 oreos. In a pack of 15. removed, I'm gonna eat the whole package. It's the rule. You can't just have 2 and then put the pack away. Like, wtf?!
I do. A standard Oreo is 10g of easy, enjoyable sugar. If my blood sugar is on a downswing and I project I'll get too low, I grab one or two out of the cupboard.
They are a medical supply and are dosed as such.
You know what else needs to be banned? A bag of chips having 1.8 servings in it.
1 sure, 2... ok. But .8 of a serving? Get the fuck out of here.
What about cans of spray oil that have hundreds of servings but say 0 calories? No shit, you've got no detectable calories when a serving is a 1/4 second of a spray.