this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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Despite how a lady at the bookstore “struggled with” my pronouns and bounced off “he” several times before settling on “they” cause apparently she couldn’t bring herself to say “she.”

Shit’s hard out there.

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Well, from your photo I definitely can see the feminine, it's not like it's not there - I just think there are some remnant masculine qualities that seems to be tripping some people up. You're not that far away, and in a more gender-expansive group you are already there - I am able to think of you as a woman, but I have more practice doing this because I'm a trans woman who tries to make an effort to interact with other trans women and participate in our community.

It sounds like you enjoy having a bit of an agendered androgynous body, which is definitely a look you're giving, and that comes through (I love it, very authentic and captures "you"). Honestly the problem might be more with how people "see" - male characteristics tend to be more heavily weighted or considered when gendering someone than feminine qualities (maybe due to sexism, tbh - not sure why the psychology works that way). This puts the onus on diminishing those masculine qualities more (or less effectively, over-emphasizing feminine ones) to compensate, which then probably feels imbalanced.