this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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Good god, yes. This is something I had to break myself from. It is so insidious and pervasive in our culture that I don’t think most of us realize it’s even a thing.
I’ve been to a lot of outdoor birthday parties this summer, and there are so many boring dads who I will hear strike up a conversation about what’s going on at work. I usually make sure to wander in the opposite direction.
And I like my job! But the “talk about work” is usually less about interesting projects or creations and more about what has been going on with that individual’s status. Like yeah Kevin I want you to do well at work and enjoy it, but if it’s all the same to you I’m going to go get chased by kids with squirt guns instead of pretending I care about how your manager is impressed by your team’s metrics.
kids sure know how to have fun. we have a lot to learn from them
More true than most realize.
After getting through a lot of shit over the past several years, and having a very good & healthy summer, I am convinced that so many of our ills (metal especially) are from this mistaken assumption that more virtual and more high tech and more consumption are positives for our health rather than negatives.
Like I said, I like my job. I have no problem explaining it to anybody who asks. But the funny thing is, nobody asks, lol. A lot times per year I get the “what do you do” question, but then they’re satisfied with that answer. Many people just volunteer their stories because they think they’re supposed (just learned behavior) to or they’re conditioned to brag about work to feel good & valid.
But despite my decent job (software for embedded linux systems — totally on brand for Lemmy!) the absolute best time I’ve spent this summer has been getting wet and muddy in the back yard. Literally.
By turning my hyperfocus and my time and some of my budget towards a big hobby project (upgrading my koi pond) I have set myself up with an activity that gives me:
AmErIcAnS DoN't hAvE A CuLtUrE
lol j/k
Yeah pervasive is right. I'd rather talk about the campaign I'm running and what my players did in our last game, but it's taken a lot of retraining my brain to allow myself to talk about what is fun instead of what I'm "supposed" to do.
‘allow myself to [do things good for me] instead of what I’m “supposed” to do’ is like a full half of what it took to figure out how to try to enjoy life.