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Another reason to leave Reddit: I forgot how hostile it can be (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by xray@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

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I've mostly left reddit and switched to beehaw, but I posted on somewhat of a niche tech-related subreddit today since there really isn't a community for that here yet. And wow, I got instantly downvoted twice and the first comment response was rude and hostile. All I posted was a feature suggestion for software that I thought would be useful and that a good amount of people would like based on other feedback I've heard. This is not the sort of topic that should be controversial or aggravating, and it wasn't like I made an ignorant post suggesting a feature that already existed or otherwise wasn't well researched.

This type of instantly hostile response has happened numerous times on reddit for various different topics, but I just haven't posted for a while, so I forgot just how shitty it can feel. It makes me really appreciate how friendly and respectful the community is here on Beehaw and on Mastodon. People seem to have good faith in one another similar to how the internet used to be in the old days.

Have you had similar experiences with Reddit and similarly opposite experiences here on Beehaw/Lemmy?

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[–] xray@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. I try not to let these type of interactions get to me because I know I should not let stranger’s opinion be able to affect me that much. I should be the gatekeeper of my emotions and what I let affect me. I just was already not having a great day yesterday, and being treated poorly for literally no reason, and realizing I wasted my time sharing my ideas just put me a bit over the edge.

And you’re right, these kinds of interactions are just something that happens as being a part of the internet and even just as part of humanity in the real world too. Bad actors are bad actors.

[–] cyberdecker@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

First off, I'm so sorry to hear you were having a bad day. That really sucks and I feel for you, friend. It happens to us all and I hope things look up for you soon! They usually do and stuff like this comes and goes in waves.

I should not let stranger’s opinion be able to affect me that much. I should be the gatekeeper of my emotions and what I let affect me.

You can't always help this. We are emotional creatures. Feeling emotions is just something we do, and you don't have to check that baggage at the door. You are entitled and valid for having a feeling in response to that situation. In my opinion you're not wrong about feeling bad/upset either. You should be upset for getting dumped on like that. We just have to be mindful to let it guide our decisions sensibly. Don't feel bad for feeling bad. You are justified in this situation.

...realizing I wasted my time sharing my ideas...

Please, please, please don't see your contribution as a waste, despite the response you got. The way others respond is not always a great indicator of the quality of your contribution, particularly if you don't exactly trust those individuals deeply. That's kind of the problem with online communities like this, not everyone responds affirmatively even if they think it actually is a great idea. It's hard to really know. It's absolutely validating when someone outright says it, but on the same hand the negativity, especially if it's not constructive, should be taken with a grain of salt. For all you know, someone could have seen your idea and run with it already, or come up with something else good based on it. You may never know though, and that's okay. The intent of putting an idea out there is good, and thank you for doing that. Please don't stop doing that.