this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
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Back again with these threads! For all the new folks, this is a safe space to tell us about anything cool you have going on, anything you want to vent about, and everything in between.

Remember, you are loved stalin-heart

Things have been up and down for me. In a glum mood today. Been hanging out with someone new, and that's been nice, I'm just not sure if I really want to keep it up. Home life is....fine, I guess. Still living with my ex, they're gonna give things until the end of the year to see if their career picks up any, and if not, they'll move home. That said, they've been talking about that for years, so I'll believe it when I see it. They broke down and finally yelled at me for the first time a few nights ago, so I silently carved a pumpkin and then just stayed over with the person I've been seeing. As nice as the couch I live on is, it was nice to sleep in a bed for a night or two this past week.

Job front is slow moving, but I had a promising interview last Wednesday. Was supposed to hear back Thurday afternoon or Friday, but even with a followup email I sent, no reply. Fingers crossed I guess.

I deleted a few of my dating apps, still have a small amount installed. A Maoist actually hollered at me this morning and wants to take me to an arcade. Not sure I have the energy though. Other people are asking me for dates, but I'm just...not replying. I should go do that now so I don't leave them hanging.

On a brighter note, 9 day tour coming up in 2 weeks, so that's cool! Without giving away too much (y'all know my band anyways and have seen my face), I'll be going around the midwest. We've been doing well on selling merch the past few months, so that money should be sufficient to cover the tour. Also, we'll have a roadie for the first time!

I'll end it here I guess. Hope all my comrades are well, and I love you! meow-hug

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[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

don't have any friends. haven't had IRL people to hang out with for about 17 years when I was still in high-school.

tired of being completely passed up on dating sites because I am boring and can't make an "intersting" dating site profile because no life/hobbies. idc if it's real relationship to a fling or FWB or whatever, I'd take anything, but I've never had anything at all and I'm 33 fuckin years old

there is nowhere to even go if I had the money or ability to get there. I don't have a car and it takes me 30 minutes to walk to the nearest anything -- and those anythings are just a handful of grocery stores and fastfood places, and I hate to say it, but I'm not going to make friends by trying to strike up conversations in the line to pay for groceries all day.

wasting the prime years of my life trapped in this shitty suburb-without-a-city, trapped in small basement suite where I have to live with an abusive grandparent, and unable to even get a girlfriend or do anything with my fucking life besides wonder when I will be forced to get a job at fucking McDonald's again

don't see much reason to not kill myself, even though I don't feel bad enough to actually do that (yet). but I don't see any other future happening for me. the only thing I have to potentially look forward to is the small chance that I will be able to get on disability for mental-illness like next year maybe (if at all).

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would offer to hang out with you, but I don't think we live near each other. I wish you success with disability and I really do hope you find something to live for.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Lawyer up if you want to win your case. That's consistent and reliable advice I've heard over and over again from those that made it. You only have to pay them if you win.

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's a provincial program (Canada), not an insurance thing, so lawyers can't help me. Just need to jump through 3,000 hoops to convince a doctor to sign off on some paper work and hope that the Ministry of Human Repression will approve my claim.