353

Man says police officer had no right to pull him over because she’s on OnlyFans (www.independent.co.uk)

submitted 11 months ago by Emperor@feddit.uk to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

79 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/3045623

He said it made him think: “You can’t arrest me no more; I’ve seen your private parts.”

He said any respect he had for her work or the department disintegrated after he recognised her as an OnlyFans model. “I wouldn’t want her to be arresting me and I just saw you and your husband last night for $29.99 have sex on OnlyFans. I just can’t respect you or the precinct that you’re working at,” he continued.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

I wanna know who's behind the onion and how tf they come up with this stuff. This is gold.

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 16 points 11 months ago

This is "not The Onion".

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago

Oh god oh god I'm an idiot

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 6 points 11 months ago

It's a testament to how weird that story is.

[-] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

And it was on this day that reality and The Onion became one in the same.

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago

Reality is now officially broken. If everyone could stop using it for a week the crisis team will attempt existential surgery before a decision is made about whether it should be demolished.

[-] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

I blame Cern, reality started getting really fucking weird after we discovered the Higgs boson

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 4 points 11 months ago

We can be more specific than that, we're in the Weaselverse.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Have they tried chucking a badger in to balance things out

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

The current scientific thinking is you've need a mustelid of similar size, like a ferret or stoat.

[-] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 months ago

No time. Maybe we just try turning it off and on again?

this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023

353 points (94.0% liked)

Not The Onion

11846 readers

647 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world