How do I stop being an undisciplined coward? (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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I've been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don't move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I've taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don't get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven't read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I'm able to keep alive at all is because I haven't moved out of my parents' house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn't a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.

Since I can't blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.

How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?

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[-] Ronin_5@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It’s not suicidal behaviour, it’s the opposite, it’s living.

I very much get where OP is coming from. In this situation, it feels like others are living for you, so you lose your purpose and your drive. You need to take action, but you can’t because your circumstances don’t necessitate it.

So you change your circumstances. You place yourself in a situation where you need to take action to survive. And by taking action, you get used to taking action. This is how you build discipline and motivation.

Not to mention it’s not really dangerous because you can just go home at any time.

[-] JK1348@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

The mod removed it but I'm assuming this is kinda the daredevil route?

Not trying to insult just curious as to the thought method in your initial post.

[-] Ronin_5@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Just from personal experience. Though it wasn’t hiking, it was urban exploration, which was far more dangerous.

I dunno if it was the adrenaline of having the floor collapsing under me or finding my way out of a building that’s locked from the outside that lit a flame under my ass, but it worked.

[-] JK1348@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

This is cool I'm glad it worked for you, but I can see why that wouldn't help OP

I do hiking myself but I'm much too brown for urban exploration I would hate to be shot by cops on private property

this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023

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