this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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The hymen is not normally ripping at the "first time", but these myths come from brutal men that have no compassion and dont know how to make both people horny.
Breaking a hymen when you first have sex is indeed a myth, but so is the idea that sufficient arousal will prevent tearing every hymen.
Hymens come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and elasticities. They can tear from many things but most people with hymens are quite likely to experience minor tearing or bleeding the first time they have sex. That's especially true if the hymen is particularly large or thick and if you haven't torn it before the first time you had sex.
That's the last myth, even if breaking a hymen was a real thing required for sex, it doesn't say anything about virginity because many girls tear it in childhood and puberty from a variety of activities as innocuous as swimming.
https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/health/period/what-is-hymen-and-how-it-changes
It's my understanding that some of them even heal and can be torn again
My gf bled the first 5 or 6 times we had sex. It definitely heals.
That's true to some extent. Any stretching will return to nominal state in fairly short order, and tears certainly heal. However it never goes back to it's "pretorn" state, and I wouldn't think anyone would want it to, a lot of hymens don't allow significant penetration of foreign objects (or body parts) in their original states. The article I linked has more details on that in a few different sections.
They can also heal