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How does attraction feel like to you, mentally, physically and emotionally? (literature.cafe)

submitted 11 months ago by Bebo@literature.cafe to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

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[–] businessfish@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

came here to post almost exactly this. it's pretty interesting and rare seeing someone questioning this sort of thing outside of a dedicated asexual community. i'm glad lemmy has people like you who are welcoming and well-informed!

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I agree that it's rare to see these questions outside the war room. Need all the recruits we can get for Denmark.

Jokes aside, just trying to extend the same sort of kindness thay was shown to me when I was questioning.

[–] Bebo@literature.cafe 3 points 11 months ago

I am so glad that lemmy is inclusive enough to entertain my questions in a general community. The answers that people have given here have definitely helped me in making some sense of attraction.