this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2023
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Mildly Infuriating
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I would pass the guy and then let him know he was passed by a queer in a fiesta. You know he'd just hate that.
I once got passed by a rainbow-decal prius with the bumper stickers "0-60 eventually" and "you just got passed by a lesbian in a unicorn outfit"
Sure enough when we stopped at the next light, there were two rather lovey-dovey women in the front seat, and the driver was wearing what looked like a unicorn onesie. It was fantastic.
Incidentally, my wife now has a similar unicorn onesie and wears it when we go grocery shopping.
And that's why I'm always speeding.
Now I have to wonder, does she wear a unicorn onesie all the time or does she put it on over her regular street clothes before driving? If the latter, why? Which came first, the sticker or the onesie? If her partner drives the car, is she required to wear the onesie?
The sticker makes no mention of driving, so I would think that as long as someone in the vehicle is both lesbian and wearing the onesie, its conditions have been fulfilled.
Thr bumper sticker specifies that you have been passed by the car therefore the car must be moving.
Ah, but the person in the passenger seat might also be considered as having passed, no?
So as long as there is someone in the vehicle who is a lesbian and also in a unicorn onesie, it's still technically correct
Well my wife likes to wear hers when she goes to pick up food, so maybe this woman likes to wear it when she's driving.
Heck I know someone who refuses to drive without a specific pair of gloves "because driving doesn't feel right without them" and they have a panic attack without them.
Or maybe they take turns wearing it. Or even just on special occasions and I happened to witness one.
Whatever the case, it made my day
The car doesn’t start unless the driver is wearing the onesie. It’s an after market thing.
Plot twist, she makes the unicorn onesie and that's her marketing strategy.
Smart move. I'd buy one for me, too if that were the case.
Have you heard the one where your fiesta takes adderall?
It turns into a focus.
Not original material but I had to say it
Haha
It's true. I had a focus before the fiesta (the dealer actually bought my focus for more than it was worth and traded the fiesta for it; some stock related issue and they were desperate for focuses). They're practically identical vehicles.
Was this joke found on road dead?
I drive a Prius and have a very long commute which goes through a rather conservative area. My existence inadvertently pisses off so many big truck drivers. I'll never understand why some people need to speed up and pass me immediately after I've passed them. It's not a competition!
I don't understand the correlation of having a small penis and simping for big oil, either. 🤷🏻♂️
See it with Teslas, too. It's pretty funny to me that even though Tesla is pretty hated, the people who hate them for good reason don't go around keying them or trying to run them off the road, while the jerk offs who hate them just for being electric are the people who do those things.
I saw one of this Japanese Kei trucks the other day with a decal across the windshield that read "under compensating" :D
Sadly I did not have time to snap a pic.
Super weird correlation, I admit, but in my city it's been my experience that one odd trend I've observed has been that Tesla drivers do three things disproportionately more frequently than drivers of other vehicles:
Lack of using a turn signal (which they arguably share with BMW drivers.
Forcing their way into lane changes and/or cutting people off (often accompanied by a noted lack of signal).
And flat out just plain running red lights. This last one is the most alarming and honestly the one I've noticed to be most closely linked to Tesla drivers. It's so bad that even if I have a solid green when approaching a red light, if I can see a Tesla in approaching or crossing lanes, I'll let off the gas and hover over the brakes, just in case they "pull a Tesla". I've seen many of them pull up to a solid red, drift to a stop, then find a gap in the cross traffic that has a solid green and just dart across. I've seen them turn left on red without stopping. Seen them cause near accidents, all running red lights like they're just a suggestion.
You can make your commute more interesting (and less safe) by adding a very visible rainbow flag
Guys like this are fun to bait past a speed trap in a little econobox.
Fiestas are a solid hairdressers car.
I don't know of any liquid or gas hairdressers, so I'm guessing it's good for all of them.