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this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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GenZedong
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It’s definitely not your problem to deal with people’s marital status, although if you have personal moral qualms that’s fine (I personally refuse to involve myself with people who are having relationship issues and have turned down a number of people over it (I’m not a sex worker)). In the end it’s work and you getting by, and whatever positives can be taken from it are cool and good.
I’ve definitely seen the toll sex work has taken on others, though, and it sucks. I often think about it in terms of the damage my own labor has done to me, and that fuels a lot of desires to upend the system. I have a friend in the business that cannot help but shame or critique whatever interactions I have with women, and constantly fluctuates between hating men and returning to dating them, and I feel awful for her knowing that it’s very related to not only her personal history but also the work that she now does to support herself. I mostly worry for her overall safety and her future.
It’s all very complicated, and in a better world at least we could ensure that the women doing this work are not being economically coerced into it. But so many of us are forced into a similar trade off anyways
On the subject of the damage, I kinda feel like mine was kinda this overwhelming and encompassing pressure to make me sexual property, so now I tend to think men feel that way as default.
Like...I appreciate that the non weirdos are being polite and keeping their distance cuz they're stunned by my beauty or some shit but it means that the only guys who approach me in person are dangerously horny, where I definitely don't want them as a client. People like that are going to argue with me on price and try to do stuff I haven't agreed to so no thank you