doesn't fix a lot, but it makes the day better

i am a total hypocrite btw i have absolute shit sleep but there is a notable difference between good sleep and bad sleep

yes im tired-posting, sue me

He's some polish nationalist masquerading as a 'political analyst' whos made it his life's mission to be racist to russians. fucking lol. The book titles are fucking hilarious

The road to unfreedom

what the fuck lol

Aloha and Seasons Greetings Comrades! Pull up a chair, say hello, vent, or just stare until someone screams! This is the Weekly Discussion Thread, where grain is eaten and dreams are made or something.

Only two more weeks until 2024! Almost another year closer to the inevitable victory of communism and the working class! Venceremos!

• Matrix Home Server and Space
• Join our Theory Discussion Group on Matrix
• Find Theory on Prolewiki, Marxists.org, and ~~pirate~~ borrow some from libgen or Anna's Archive
• For those of us who are more of a verbal learner, check out the Channel Socialism 4 All (the link is Yewtu.be, so no worries on the privacy)

(picture is what i feel walking into any Lemmy.ml news post lol)

Howzit motherfuckers? God damn a break really does help I highly recommend it for anyone feeling under the weather rn. Only feel slightly irritated about my hexban, and i'm glad I took a step away before I started some very online self destructive spiral. I've been doing a load more volunteering, its been nice to see all the projects that i've been working with people on grow and prosper. I've also become more tapped into the local politics and the growing Marxist Leninist presence in Hawaii. Its been a blast. Still working on the arguing thing, but I will still argue with people based on my beliefs, just try to get out of making something out of nothing.

finals are a fuck, glad they're over for me

Good luck to those who still have them, the end is in sight and I believe in you.

Goddammit i missed kissinger dying???? ON MY BIRTHDAY??????!!!!!!

Can't have shit in eva beach

so how are ya'll and since i've been sorta out of the loop, anything interesting happen (for you or IRL, i missed ya'll)? I have missed the Yogothos/72Trillion updates that became my main source of daily news.

Sorry, I'm not well known, and I haven't been around much lately. I'll make this quick.

I need to clear my head. My obsession with the online, combined with my constant angry nature, is causing my mental state to rapidly deteriorate. So much has happened in the past three days, and its causing me to lose my mind emotionally. I touched a bottle today, I've done that but twice.

My ban from Hexbear hit me more than I realized, and I've been using both Hexbear and Lemmygrad as a dopamine mine. I get into fights now purely for someone to talk to me, to respond, to acknowledge me, to hate me. It feels good to go back and forth like that. Thats not even talking about the embarrassing amount of hours I've spent refreshing the notifications, or looking for mentions of myself. I had become too in my own head, I have begun seeing my influence as a way to make me more popular not to teach or help, and that isn't communist of me in the slightest. Its not healthy or good in the slightest. Its plain bad. Its been like this since August. If it continues it will get worse. My reckless drugged up debating led directly to my Hexbear ban, and although I do disagree with them, the fault ultimately lies with me. It would have been easy to ignore (well, at least the last one), but I jumped the gun for that hit that got me in trouble in the first place.

I wish I could learn to take the easy way, I always end up having it done the hard way.

I hope its nothing serious, and that I'll be back soon. Maybe I'll pop in once or twice. I hope not though, until I feel better. I have hope that if I stick to it, become more active offline, I'll find better coping mechanisms. If I find better coping mechanisms, then I can use this site in a more healthy way when I come back. I will be coming back, that's for sure.

Although, If I'm able to get my account temp banned (as I have recently requested from a certain grain consuming particularly large rodent), this would mean I have been officially banned at least once from every social media site I have ever been on. From Numotic banning me from lemmy, to Webtoons banning me for defense of the DPRK, to discord for being in too many "extremist" servers, to AO3 for my harassment of this one sex pest bastard (he was being a pedo, they all were, China should glass that site), to twitter for my anti-monarchist stance, and several more. That's funny to me.

If you want to reach me for whatever reason, I can be found on the Lemmygrad Matrix server.

Mahalo, Comrades, and Aloha

in that "fucking miss the soviets" mood

I mean, the death of the state is the end goal, but in a way where society is too advanced and educated to need it. I have a hard time imagining where central planning is decentralized over time, or if central planning can somehow operate in a stateless society.

disclaimer: I am not a follower of MLM or anything associated with the Shining path. I am a Marxist Leninist.

I've seen lots of joking with some good critique lined up, but never anything satisfying to me? Thats the wrong word but i mean something around that.

A bullheaded poster on the level of LiberalSocialist has been fused to the spirit of a reddit CIAnarchist, and its fucking hilarious

their account is very recent, probably made for this very thread.

plz don't ban them its so much fun

oh no they PM'ing my Hexbear account now oh lawd they mad

they've been combing through the account them must have been pissed off

small addition for my pride's sake: Lemmygrad accounts cannot see my hexbear account, and since it is the one arguing in quite a lot of the post, without it there would be a lot of context missing and not asmany funny CIAnarchist moments.

Update: Even more PMs, the lib won't shut up

should I summon them?

I'm trying to be better but I'm terrible some days and better others, my willpower day-to-day isn't at all consistent enough to help. I'm always depressed and tired, even when I take my meds and get good sleep.

I love to imagine myself as I would be if I had the willpower and energy to tackle each day. What it would be like to be able to make friends as an adult without having anyone from college, highschool, or childhood. What it would be like if I could go about my day with confidence in my own ability, knowing I can back it up. What it would be like to live in my skin without wanting to scream all the time even when I'm happy. What it would be like if I was enough for myself.

What it would be like if I was just good enough to be okay. I wish I could be okay

How about ya'll?

I know many people are like me in one way or another, and asking if there are is kind of pointless, but I just want to hear from people like me. I don't want to be alone.

But I also know that these things are literally mostly the fault of the banal dystopia wearing down our will to live every day. As well as that despite all this shit you still believe in us, in the potential of humanity, is an act of love so pure that one who feels it cannot be evil. I will not accept your self hatred, you are a good person, just one thats been worn to pieces trying to pull them back together.

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/2328919

Originally posted on the GETchan YouTube channel, but was since taken down for violating ToS or something like that.

I reuploaded it to Odysee, but it can also be found on archive.org