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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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Ask Lemmy
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So the culture one grew up in one’s “own” culture. Reasonable definition.
I grew up in Illinois. My mother made stollen each Christmas because she had encountered it in Germany as a traveling 20-something and she kept it.
It’s not my culture as an American, but as a member of my family it is my culture. This kind of thing is why I ask.
If you wanted to participate in the discussion with a less abrasive nature, you could share that story from your mother's perspeyand how it became your own personal culture.
However, I would consider it not to be your culture, but a family tradition. Your culture is more rooted in community than just your own family in my opinion.
I think if you open your mind a little you may discover someone challenging your beliefs can be helpful to a conversation.
That’s part of the culture I grew up in: arguing and challenging each other as part of talking. Feel free to try it out or adopt it.
You know I understand you. That was the way with me too. It took me a long time into adulthood to tone that down as I wasn't making friends and people seemed to think I was an asshole. It really sucked cause I seriously didn't mean any harm or disrespect, but most took it that way for some reason.
Now, after endless questioning of myself, I've learned to adapt to my audience.
I have a really hard time with it because it seems so non-spontaneous. What even is the point of discussing things without disagreement?
I see these conversations that are just people agreeing with each other and I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a part of it.
But I don’t want to be alone.
Err, I don't see a point in disagreeing for the sake of it - I have a similar problem to you though. I get awkward or silent when I don't have anything original, new or even interesting to say, like you are uncomfortable with 'agreement'.
Persuasion works best when you work off commonalities rather than differences. Though I understand you're trying to go for combative argumentation.