this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
247 points (92.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27240 readers
2173 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 77 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Socializing. Things to say in a conversation don't come to me naturally like they seem to do with other people. Often people remark it's like talking to a wall because I don't know how to come up with an answer to their open questions on the fly. And without that, they see no foundation to build friendship on.

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Damn, I really relate to this. When I get nervous because I don't know what to say, I come back with one of my dreaded default responses.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I realized today that people on movies are weird in cute, quirky ways. Most of us are just weird in weird ways.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 14 points 7 months ago

people on movies are weird in cute, quirky ways

Also scripted and practiced ways.

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago

It helps if you realize that most people are delighted to talk about themselves, if you can find the right angle. They may be passionate about cars, or gardening, travel, their children.

Also realize that most people have spent a lot of time doing whatever they do, and there are things they know about it that few other people do.

For example, someone who works in a laundry might have insights into the laundry business, or the people who come in late at night or the values of different kinds of detergent.

Someone who works at a mall may well know things about them all that you don't. There may be aspects to their job that they find challenging or painful.

I seem unable to care much about other people (not officially diagnosed on the spectrum, but it seems obvious to most people who know me), but I am interested in the insights they can give me, and I genuinely want them to be happy.

Having a conversation like that also beats sitting around awkwardly.