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this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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Uplifting News
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Side effects include:
mutated anus
disappearing retinas
sudden bone splintering
genital duplication
having too many god damned teeth
I'll take genital duplication if I have to choose one of those.
Hold on, I'm going to need the specifics on that anus mutation before I decide
We’ve seen a large number of subjects form functional tastebuds on their sphincters.
Doesn't everyone already have rudementary tastebuds in their anus? Isn't that how spicy food hurts both upon entering and departing?
"Spicy" isn't a taste, it's just a mildly painful chemical irritation. Spicy substances can hurt many sensitive body parts, including the mouth, nose, eyes, anus, and genitals. It's nothing to do with tastebuds, more to do with thin unprotected membranes in your body being sensitive to chemicals such as capsaicin or allyl isothiocyanate.
Gotta make sure the fine print isn't secretly bolstering the Republican voter base?
In our clinical trials, the secondary genitalia usually manifests itself on a subjects forehead.
Awesome. Imagine all the money to be made in porn.