this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
39 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

22748 readers
320 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm not sure if I want to open myself up about "this". It's not because I feel vulnerable, but because some people might think less of me for it. In a way, it's showing someone a massive weak spot that could be used against me. So, while I'm writing this, it seems obvious to me that it is foolish. Yet still, I have a lingering urge to share some of these feelings.

Truthfully, I have never shared this with anyone. Not even in a therapy setting have I felt comfortable enough to do so. I did nothing illegal, so don't worry. Its also nothing sex related.

Hypothetical. Imagine I killed someone in self-defense. Even if people might be sympathetic, they would view me differently after I told them that. It would change my relationship with them. This is just an example for something that has the potential to greatly change the dynamic between people.

I DIDNT KILL SOMEONE.

Any input would be appreciated.

EDIT OK. I talked with someone about it. Feel a bit better. Probably wont disclose it on Hexbear but thanks for all the input.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I work with a man who spent a few years in the hoosegow for a bar fight turned manslaughter.

One of the guys at the supply house I buy everything at was convinced of murder and methamphetamine trafficking. He spent 6 years in the pen before he got some sort of deal to get out. I assume it involved informing on his buddies.

My relationship with the latter is much more casual, so it’s a bit superficial. My relationship with my coworker is pretty strong. He’s a good guy who got into a bad way. I pick him up for work some weeks, he picks me up some weeks. We’ve talked about it at some length. I honestly don’t think my relationship would be “better” or different were he not convicted by the state of Texas of murder. Bad things happen to good folks every single day. He cannot hold a license to plumb any longer due to his conviction but he held a masters for 15 years before he spent 10 in prison. I’d trust him around my kids, my home, the few possessions I have. I trust him around me.

I’m not sure what my point is really. I guess just pointing out that not everyone will judge you for your past transgressions. Some likely will, and those people probably aren’t worth pursuing friendship with. But not everyone will.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Damn, I iddn't realize you were barred from the trades for felonys.

But yeah, I take your point, people grow, they change. Many people aren't who they were five or ten or fifteen years ago.

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If it is something requiring state licensure, they sure can. Plumbing, nursing, pharmacy, dental, funeral service, geosciences, optometry and behavioral health is all under the purview of whom issues my license. There are more, but at the very least if you fall under on of those job descriptions you can potentially be denied a license in Texas. I’m unsure about other states but I would assume similar.

My coworker is attempting to get back into it, but it’s been a struggle. You have to have letters of recommendation from your current employer, a former employer, and a coworker. Assuming you get that far, you still have to go before the plumbing board, and plead your case. Then if everyone approved, you can start over again. If he did get his ability to become licensed back, he would start out as a greenhorn; an apprentice with zero hours on the job experience. Means at that point it’s 2 years for tradesman, 4 years for journeyman, 8 for master’s licensure. He is a third generation plumber. He’s been at it longer than I’ve been alive just about. That’s gotta be a killer to someone like that.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

Jesus. All I can say is America really does everything it possibly can to destroy people and keep them destroyed.

[–] Saeculum@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

Ridiculous, how does killing a guy negatively effect your ability to do plumbing?