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Opening up (serious question) (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Comp4@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

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I'm not sure if I want to open myself up about "this". It's not because I feel vulnerable, but because some people might think less of me for it. In a way, it's showing someone a massive weak spot that could be used against me. So, while I'm writing this, it seems obvious to me that it is foolish. Yet still, I have a lingering urge to share some of these feelings.

Truthfully, I have never shared this with anyone. Not even in a therapy setting have I felt comfortable enough to do so. I did nothing illegal, so don't worry. Its also nothing sex related.

Hypothetical. Imagine I killed someone in self-defense. Even if people might be sympathetic, they would view me differently after I told them that. It would change my relationship with them. This is just an example for something that has the potential to greatly change the dynamic between people.

I DIDNT KILL SOMEONE.

Any input would be appreciated.

EDIT OK. I talked with someone about it. Feel a bit better. Probably wont disclose it on Hexbear but thanks for all the input.

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Hmmm...

Well, you should consider what quantitative change is happening because of you not sharing whatever this is that's bothering you, and what qualitative leap will eventually happen if you don't share it ever. And you should just as well think about what could actually possibly tangibly come of you sharing this secret: people might see you differently, sure, but I've shat myself out afront plenty of people even on Hexbear, so showing your bad side to someone is just going to sort of happen no matter what... So I guess "people will see me differently" is just not a very tangible or meaningful effect on its own, and "change the interpersonal dynamic" is really too vague to be meaningful.

I cannot answer these questions for you — I don't think every secret is worth sharing with others — but I can if nothing else recommend journaling first, or alternatively creating a fictional character based on whatever it is about yourself that you find shameful.