this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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Whenever I would tell my stepmother that I have feelings for a woman, the very first question she would ask me is "Is she white?" There is a lot of frustrating concern of people needlessly emphasizing race in relationships.
Am I aware that interracial relationships can have problematic implications such as internalized racism and fetishism? Of course! But in every instance that I've been into or with someone who is a different race as me, that never really crossed my mind. I kinda just like 'em no matter what, y'know?
I'm chatting it up with a white woman now, but I know that this frustrating interracial discourse is usually very cisheteronormative anyway. People will have a lot more concern with me being transfeminine than they would have for me dating someone of a different race at the end of the day.
Interesting I'm half white, half native american myself. 'White adjacent" or whatever. My grandma I think had some internalized racism going on because she wanted my mom and all her daughters to date white men. She told me once in a very racially changed conversation "I told all my daughters you date white white white!'
It could be she just wanted her future grand children to have an easier life without dealing with as much bigoted bullshit as she did as well. As we all know the closer you are to being 'waspy" the easier your life is in the US unfortunately.
Was that kind of your stepmom's thinking as well?
She specifically wanted me to date black women and have kids with one because she didn't want "mixed grandchildren." The odd thing is that I'm not having kids, and she, along with many of my other family members, have been cut out of my life entirely by now due to their transphobia specifically.
So kind of opposite of what my grandma wanted. She wanted her grandchildren 'mixed with white' because she believed it would make life easier us living in the US.
And I suppose it has' especially since I have an 'anglo' full name.
It just sucks we are still stuck in a place where the closer you are to being white and straight and cis, the easier your life gets.