askchapo

I know the dynamics are different, but I'm in reverse situation. White guy, brown wife.

One thing that I really didn't think hard enough about was when my mom told me she was "sad that her grandchildren wouldn't look like [her]" and I sorta blanked it out at the time because it was so fucked up. My wife definitely gets treated worse by my mother for internalized racism reasons among others. My mom is a big CNN lib and always pulls the "i have black friends/work with black people" card whenever I call her on saying something racist.

Ironically my total fox news addicted grandfather LOVES my wife. Partly i think because she reminds him a lot of my late grandmother in her personality. They got along the moment they met and he's treated her like she's part of the family since. He once tried to pull the "there's no more racism anymore" thing and I told him about some racist things that happened to my wife and he immediately paused and contemplated what he said and admitted to being wrong.

On my wifes side of the family, interracial marriages are super normal just due to the dynamics of the country and everyone is mixed 5 ways anyway.

Fortunately, I had no issues with racism. HOWEVER, I did have a classist mom yelling at me because I went with my ex to a place using public transportation(a bus drive basically).

Whenever I would tell my stepmother that I have feelings for a woman, the very first question she would ask me is "Is she white?" There is a lot of frustrating concern of people needlessly emphasizing race in relationships.

Am I aware that interracial relationships can have problematic implications such as internalized racism and fetishism? Of course! But in every instance that I've been into or with someone who is a different race as me, that never really crossed my mind. I kinda just like 'em no matter what, y'know?

I'm chatting it up with a white woman now, but I know that this frustrating interracial discourse is usually very cisheteronormative anyway. People will have a lot more concern with me being transfeminine than they would have for me dating someone of a different race at the end of the day.

I never had issues with racist family, luckily enough.

Just internal issues. I feel like, with the exception of one partner, I can't give White women I dated the anti-racist pass. They always reveal a lack of understanding or solidarity in some form or another, just a matter of time. Then that leads to internal issues between us depending on how major it is or how patient I'm feeling.

The one White girlfriend who was cool though was my longest partner, we went 7 years and not one racist incident. Actually she's called me out on my mistakes. Haha

yup