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[-] MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago

Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.

[-] evidences@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Pssst just a heads up there's no Cleveland area IKEA, there are however an Ikea in both the Columbus and Cincinnati areas.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago

They probably had to close the IKEA in Cleveland after homie fucked a couch in it. That's the type of situation that will ruin a business.

[-] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Is all Appalachian... right? Like Middletown, middle of Appalachian town... Dude's an idiot

I have no idea how one can avoid having bare skin contact with a couch for five years. Unless you always wear long sleeve shirts, socks and long pants and be very careful about where you put your hands.

[-] gentooer@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

As one should.

this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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