Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.

[–] evidences@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Pssst just a heads up there's no Cleveland area IKEA, there are however an Ikea in both the Columbus and Cincinnati areas.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 months ago

They probably had to close the IKEA in Cleveland after homie fucked a couch in it. That's the type of situation that will ruin a business.

[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Is all Appalachian... right? Like Middletown, middle of Appalachian town... Dude's an idiot

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have no idea how one can avoid having bare skin contact with a couch for five years. Unless you always wear long sleeve shirts, socks and long pants and be very careful about where you put your hands.

[–] gentooer@programming.dev 2 points 3 months ago

As one should.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jammin Davenport

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jizzen De-Lazyboy.

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 6 points 3 months ago

Jizzin Dolphins

[–] Ranger@lemmy.blahaj.zone 64 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I won't stand for this slander against my boi Jorkin Depeanus

[–] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

That's right we have to FIGHT! FLIGHT!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 10 points 3 months ago

Can they prove it doesn't?

Let's see his birth certificate.

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jance Dance Vance

[–] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

It's a Jance Dance Vance Chance!

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 months ago

Jiant Dildo

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 months ago

Jackass Dingus

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Justin DeCouch

[–] richtellyard@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Jilted Duvet

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

methinks he doth protest too much

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Jackass Dipshit

[–] norimee@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You sure?

[–] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Can this be confirmed?