this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
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https://www.mystateline.com/news/national/almost-half-of-young-men-have-never-approached-a-woman-romantically-study/

“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.

A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.

The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”

It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.

From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.

Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.

Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?

p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.

Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested

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[–] Ludrol@szmer.info 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Ridicule from peers. - Anecdotal evidence: there was a streamer that found herself in a situation where a guy tried to ask a other girl out. Instead of congratulating him on his braveness or pitying him for rejection, the streamer choose to laugh at his absurd circumstances where he got rejected in front of thousands of people. Even if she wanted to pity him, this moment sends a message that discourages asking girls out.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That video is unwatchable so I don't know the details, but maybe just don't stream you asking someone out? I'd be willing to bet that the risk of being ridiculed for asking is lower than the chance of her saying yes. The realistic worst case scenario is that she says no than you and you're back exactly where you started from.

[–] Empty@leminal.space 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Then what's the fucking point? Being denied plus feeling even worse than before? I don't see how that helps

[–] rekorse@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Its your choice to feel bad about it, plenty of people can make mistakes every 15 minutes and forgive themselves just fine.

They are saying its a better chance than doing nothing. If you are going to do nothing then stop bitching about it, since clearly you have given up. You can always change your perspective if you give yourself the chance to though.