Ludrol

Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth

sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I made a bunch of assumptions and I have really strong desire to help people, so I have made a mistake.

I’ve personally studied this personal issue for my entire fucking life

I would also be outraged if some armchair expert or worse an actual expert spew lies towards me and my situation. Even if I can't offer a solution at least I can be emphatic towards your suffering and your struggle.

I can't really offer you much other than virtual hug or a prayer to a higher power for a better tomorrow. Take care of yourself as it seems that no one else will.

Why do people always assume I haven’t?

I assumed that you have some sort of nerve pain like your friend and it would be unbearable.

Digestive issues are textbook examples of psychosomatic problems so I am less surprised that they didn't help you. Maybe in what they are saying is a kernel of a truth but that's not for me to judge as I have my own life to live and you have yours.

I have high hopes that therapy will help you.

Yeah, you do know what you’re talking about when you say “I am totally clueless”. No offense, but spot on.

I am basically Socrates. And now I don't know what to do with that lack of knowledge. Maybe I should build a time machine and stroll around in an ancient Greece or study philosophy with my inflated ego. /j

I've since not been listened to at all,

Yeah, that sucks.

I have read some years ago tips for women on reddit how to deal with misygonic docs that don't take problems seriously. The gist of it was to present a story with your appearence that will help the doc emphatize with you (as I remember that was to present themselfs as business woman where illness prevents them from working.)

I guess something similar could be used for drug user that somehow is intepreted as addict.

I am uninformed but I heard from psychiatrist that weed has some negative effects on mental illness.

I would consider stopping weed for a bit, ride on painkillers(? I am totally clueless) for that time and try to get prescription for weed if it's possible (wikipedia says that it's legal for medical use.)

tossed out of an ER

I can relate. That was horrible experience for me and only by intervention of my best friend I am still here.

finally did manage to get a therapist, […] So that's one positive thing

This is HUGE sucess. Congrats! And stick with it for at least couple of months.

Your mind is playing tricks on you where you toss out a possible solutions outright due to buried emotions.

There are a lot of different types of reaources and some work and some don't.

Different types of Therapy (CBT, EMDR, etc.), group therapy, books and lectures, long hikes, pilgrimages, d&d, meditation, Alcoholics Anonymous, hitting the gym, temp work agency and even more esoteric ones that I don't reccomend without trying more normal ones. They all are tools that may not work for you but there exists the tool that will work. The difficulty is in finding one that somewhat works and not giving up half way.

Do you want to change? Do you wish you wanted to change?

Monster flower ✅
Apple ✅
Spaceship ✅
Virus ✅
Soulmates ✅

Reading japanese, living life. Hopefuly I want to be better at overcoming my trauma but that outcome is kinda independed of my actions towards that.

I would do it only if I was organizing the IRL community on the internet that I have direct involvement in.

If there would be new IRL community that need a digital space, (theoritically) I would go around and talk to the lead (or be the lead) and crete a space for the people to use.

Depends on the threat model.

NOAA and others gets underfunded/change of menagement and need to close down open access to stuff.

or

Data becomes illegal to possess and feds start knocking on Web Archive doors.

or

Web archive will do something stupid and will get sued/DDOSed

In only one very unlikely scenario it won't be availble due to recent events. But still redundancy would be good regardless of recent stuff.

https://wiki.archiveteam.org/

they have an automatic VM that dowloads stuff in distributed manner and uploads to archive.org

I can't wait 10 year to forget everything that happened in the game so I could play it again.

Also there is this fire meme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EKPbEQbzrk

Can you judge a work of art by it's virality? Should you judge by virality?

A lot of times in history artists got recognition they deserved only after their death. When they ware alive they lived in poverty struggling to make ends meet.

There is a lot of internet 1.0 preserved by internet archive that I didn't get to experience. There are flash games that I would love to preserve and show the next generation.

We wouldn't have known how Scotts Cawthon games have looked like before he made FNAF if not for the preservation efforts.