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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Always love seeing these come up and everyone confidently stating that it's been solved. Everything from a knitting tool (highly unlikely as the Romans didn't knit) to a dice. The truth is we just don't know and likely never will unless a new source .
Personally I'm convinced by the theory that they're probably a metalworkers portfolio piece used to demonstrate the creators skill, either to potential customers or as a test to join a guild.
Must be ceremonial.
I always loved David Macauley take on this. He wrote a book as if people 2000 years ago found a motel and he presumed the “sanitized for your protection” banding and toilet seats would have been seen as ceremonial wear.
https://www.byanyothernerd.com/2020/04/stranger-days-39-mysteries-of-motel.html?m=1
Archeologists after looking at literally anything: Looks like a calendar. Or maybe a religious object. Or maybe a calendar of religions significance.
People back then loved their religious calendars. That's all they ever talked about. Whole books could be written about them.
But instead of books to write about them, they documented their love of religious calendar artifacts, with more calendar artifacts.
or something used in “fertility rituals”
Translation: it's clearly a dildo, but if i put that into the study they won't publish it.
It's a Roman plumbus.
I always wondered how they made those
with lead probably
Everyone Roman has one
This is why there was no need to write about it.
Panic Pete
Haha, they don't know how to use the three dodecahedron's.
I just assume it's a random doodad. Like a desk decoration or something. Why wouldn't ancient people have had dumb bullshit that served no purpose other than it's aesthetic value just like we do now?
... Art?
They've actually all been planted by time travelers just to fuck with people.
This is why I couldn't have a time machine. I'd go back in time and fuck with people. Leave a modern day Bic pen deep in a cave in New Zealand, or a randomly shaped object with no clear use made from something like titanium in a forest in the middle of Brazil.
Spaghetti portion measurer.
This is SCP-184.
But you probably don’t have access to that file.
This isn't even a joke, I have an O5 ID card in my wallet. Fun little thing to pull out in moments like this lol
This is amazing. I love it.
God this thing has gotten so beaten up lately. Clearly not the best quality lol that or I'm the longest serving O5.
What if it's a die for an ancient version of D&D? Labyrinths & Minotaurs. Or that thing you put treats in and then your dog rolls it around and gets a biccy every so often.
Knitting
People say this every time, and it’s still not true, because the Romans didn’t knit. Knitting is a technology and it hadn’t made it to Rome at the time these were made.
Also, some were solid and unsuitable for knitting. And they were found with giant piles of money, which is a weird place to keep your domestic tools.
Knitting
Oh well if you put it that way I guess it’s knitting
Good
Knitting is a medieval development that originated around Egypt in probably 1000-1100 CE (AD). There is no evidence of two needle knitting before then.
Romans used sprang, weaving and needlebinding techniques. They did not knit. Some needlebound artifacts can resemble knitting - particularly those in the Coptic stitch. They are still produced using the thumb and needle method of needlebinding and are structurally different.
The type of knitting that YouTube grandma did on the dodecahedron - spool knitting/French knitting - is an even later development - early modern period - 1400-1500s.
As a spool knitter, the dodecahedron makes very little sense. The spacing of the pegs - not the spacing of the holes - is what determines the size of the created tube. Every face of the dodecahedron would create the same size tube - which means you’ve just got extra random pointless shit digging into your hands. Google and compare to a modern spool knitter.
The idea of making a doohickey for fingered gloves, which you would then need to sew on anyway (every knitters least favorite thing to do) - it’s silly.
Here are some 4th/5th century socks - produced via needlebinding.
Here is the earliest known example of true knitting. 1000 at earliest.
You mentioned that not all socks would survive - that is true, but often textile patterns can be recovered through indentions in other material.
knitting what? the ones that have been recovered were way too big to make sense for that purpose
My ancient roman friend says it's a candle holder for different sized candles
That's a Prime Resonator from Path of Exile
Are we entirely sure it's not just an ornament? I've got all kinds of things that aren't even ritual objects.
That is not an uncommon guess, but the argument against it is that these took some sophistication to make. This isn't some disposable gewgaw. These were made with relatively tight tolerances and exhibited the best metalworking fabrication of the age. One theory I've seen seriously floated was that they were made as a demonstration of metal working competency, the equivalent of a benchy in 3D printing.
No, no you don't. Everything that isn't fully functional and necessary for life is a ritual object! And also some of the the other things to! It's all ritual! It's ritual all the way down, baby!
Obviously it's a key that needs to be inserted into an ancient titan robot to power it back up.
What an utterly ridiculous notion. Obviously it's a magical battery that, once charged, can be inserted into an ancient titan robot to power it back up.
All we know for certain is that at some point that thing was on some bored Romans knob.
It's probably some kids workshop assignment that he brought home to his parents.