The Onion

(Detroit, MI) Republicans have begun a crusade against the time-honored 1981 classic Raiders of the Lost Ark, citing a lack of respect for the first amendment and encouraging political violence.

Sites like imdb.com have seen a surge in new accounts as Conservative Americans across the nation are creating profiles in order to leave a one-star rating for the Spielberg classic Raiders of the Lost Ark. According to these reviews, the film contains gratuitous politically-motivated violence, and a complete disregard for the first amendment right granting freedom of speech. According to inside sources, viewers feel threatened by the persecution experienced by the characters in the film, decrying it as glorifying violence.

"I don't expect them to agree on everything," one reviewer writes, "but violence isn't warranted for differences in political alignments. Ultimately, [Jones] and his competition have more in common than they have different." Another critic writes that they "of course don't identify with the politics of these characters, but cannot condone the slander and persecution presented against them." Similarly, many reviews cite tolerance as a virtue sadly missing from the movie. Summarizing the position aptly, one review states, "if he would simply sit down and have a rational debate, rather than punching the Nazis, I'm certain Indiana could have resolved his differences without so much bloodshed."

Related, ratings for 1963's The Great Escape have seen a sharp improvement, with reviews praising the dedication and efficiency of the soldiers depicted in the film, even though three prisoners manage to escape.