this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy

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[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 1 points 23 minutes ago

Apparently "Doing One-Armed Pushups like a Pro"

So, focused physical exertion.

[–] Schmoo@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 hour ago

An exceedingly dangerous activity indeed.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago

"what to do when someone texts you an apple emoji."

I'm extremely curious to see how this plays out.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago
[–] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Poke-Radar

Looks like I die playing an old PokΓ©mon game. Nostalgia must hit.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Comforting a dying cat :(

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 hours ago
[–] communism@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Melbourne@lemmy.ca 1 points 28 seconds ago

That's so damn funny!!!!

[–] Redex68@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago

"How to confront a cheating husband"
That actually makes sense as a way to die, I just need to become gay now.

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 2 points 5 hours ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Dates-Indoors

Guys I'm scared, my wife has been trying to grow dates indoors. Send for help, my time is near.

[–] SpaghettiYeti@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Wearing high heels while being tall.....

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.

[–] lama@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

Lol at least this kind of makes sense: https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Clenbuterol

[–] Junkers_Klunker@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 hours ago

Just wait until bots learn how to write agit-prop. We won't be able to keep up with it.

[–] Skeletonek@lemmy.zip 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Ok, so I guess I'll need to move to the USA in the future

Now you can avoid your death indefinitely by never going there

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 hours ago

I WARNED YEH!
DIDN'T I WARN YEH?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

"Thinking before you speak" is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind. Then,

Should maybe have yelled "Don't Remove The Pole! The building will collapse!" But instead I was using the T.H.I.N.K acronym.

[–] daniyeg@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 hours ago
[–] sh__@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

Celebrating Onam apparently. I didn't know that existed even, but it seems so fun it's deadly.

[–] Odo@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

Yes, dying from the most dangerous of human endeavors: small talk.

[–] Hyphlosion@lemm.ee 2 points 9 hours ago
[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 hours ago

I spent way to long thinking it was "How to make Scorpion man miss you". Thought I was gonna get stung.

[–] kaamkiya@lemmy.ml 1 points 8 hours ago

I guess dying on a roller coaster. Link

[–] toddestan@lemm.ee 6 points 13 hours ago

I managed to get this: How to Fire a Gun.

So it's at least plausible.

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

How to run away from an abusive home.

I was already planning to run away from an abusive home.

This is horrifying

[–] brisk@aussie.zone 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)
[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] essell@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

I've heard a few stories of people dying practicing self love. Quite undignified!

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago

"How to put a collar on a cat" yeah that tracks honestly

[–] crmsnbleyd@sopuli.xyz 1 points 11 hours ago

How to wash a chest binder.

...I'm not afab???

[–] TheGuyTM3@lemmy.ml 20 points 21 hours ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You

UUUHHHHH


monday


inhales

I like coming here.

In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.

She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14...

It doesn't stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40's.

Nothing can.

It's not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.

My love is pure.

She's made to be mine.

"I want to be with her together."


tuesday


She just leaved the school to buy her meal.

Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.

She is so cute.

"I absoluetly want to be with her"


She seems to be alone right now.

"Is it my chance?"

Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.

Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.

Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.

Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: "ladies and gentleman, we got him"

Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.

"aww man"

I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.


Guys don't call the police it's for the thing

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[–] wintermute@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 13 hours ago

I got "How to remove a urinary catheter" 😱🀣

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[–] stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I'm dying in a religious conflict

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[–] nek0d3r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago

How to get rid of ulcer pain... In this healthcare system, probably

[–] alphapuggle@programming.dev 10 points 19 hours ago
[–] ProjectMork@lemmy.ml 14 points 20 hours ago

well hmm, This could be interesting

Giving a bullshit reason for breaking up with my partner (guess i need to start dating again to fulfill my destiny)

https://www.wikihow.com/Reasons-to-Break-Up

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 18 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Apparently I'll die becoming Israeli

[–] ahal@lemmy.ca 3 points 13 hours ago

At least you aren't going to die becoming a southern belle.

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[–] theluckyone@discuss.online 4 points 16 hours ago

I die changing a CV axle.

How did they know I own a Subaru?

[–] Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 17 hours ago

How to Cure Fungus on Aquarium Fish

Am I going to be patient zero for an IRL Last of Us?

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