this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Robot’s soul is weighed (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@lemmy.ml
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[A picture of Pepe the frog frowning while holding a gun to its head]

I hit another level this weekend /r9k/

>be me
>like this coworker
>finally get the courage to talk to her
>holy shit things are going well
> invites me to hangout on friday
> says her friends are burning books that go against Christianity
>seriously wtf
>whatever she’s hot
>gets the address

>it’s friday
>don't understand if I’m supposed to bring my own books
>buy $300 worth of anti-christian books
>put them in two big trash bags
>head over to book burning

>See coworker
>say hi
>"what are in the bags anon..?"
>"I...I brought books for the burning."
>"Anon I was joking about the book burning"
>it’s a normal fucking party
>don't know what to do
>pretend to get a call
>walk away and leave books
> start running home leaving my car

I snuck back on Saturday and got my car, but I think I have to fucking quit work now. Theres no way I can see her again.

What should I do? I have a shift on Wednesday.

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[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 189 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Anon could have salvaged this if he didn't run away. It could have made for a killer party story

[–] protist@mander.xyz 156 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The act of withdrawing when feeling embarrassed is 90% of the problem. Playing it off, owning up to the mistake, or laughing at yourself are all almost guaranteed to have a better outcome

[–] 009_Sound_System@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (10 children)

In this situation what could have anon done? It seems like he fucked up so bad, it’s unsalvageable. What do you say? Like maybe continue with the bit?

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean there's no way to "salvage" it, because buying $300 worth of books for intolerant book burning you don't really believe in does reveal you to actually have no principles and to want do a lot just to be liked.

The best thing to say is to explain exactly that and genuinely express that you understand it is a problem and you're working on it, which of course anon couldn't because there's no indication of this level of self-awareness.

But if they would, they might still be shunned, but it is very unlikely imo. Good people understand trauma and appreciate trying to work through it.

[–] TALL421@lemmy.one 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Personally I would just fess up and say you bought the book's to fit in with the group. You're still dumb but lovingly dumb at least, the best kind! Sometimes

[–] thrawn@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man I guess, but like, I’d be pretty unimpressed if a friend was like “ok I’m in we’re burning books”. Really shouldn’t be that easy to convince a reasonable person to do it.

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

These are people at a party. People do wild things at a party all the time. Under normal circumstances, sure, I would say you're right. But at a party, anything goes. Honestly, Anon found himself in the best of positions and screwed it up. It was perhaps the only circumstance where someone could say, "let's do some stupid shit that makes zero sense and goes completely against our beliefs and values," and other people would just say, "lol sure why not"

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Party and burn the books anyway

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[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

"Lmao I though you were serious."

"Omg really?"

"Yeah, lol, you want a book on the evils of Christianity?"

"Absolutely, that's hilarious."

[–] imkali@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

yeah i figured it was just a normal party, i got these books for a bonfire or something

could argue theyre antichristian as a joke because of the conversation they had ig

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

You don't even need to say that it's a joke. You were told that it was going to be a Christian book burning party. I think most people would assume by default that you just went with it because you didn't know what else to do. Peer pressure works, and nobody's going to fault you for that. Especially if you make it clear that you don't actually believe in burning books.

Honestly if people were going to give you shit, it would most likely be for getting bamboozled. And that's significantly more salvageable than whatever Anon did

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

No, just say that you thought the other person was being serious and laugh it off. Maybe tell it to the other party-goers. Heck, give them a book so that you don't need to lug so many books around. They get a laugh and a memorabilia for the story, you get to play it off. People go along with stupid shit all the time, they won't judge you for a single "ok, that's weird but I'll do it" moment.

Honestly, most things are only awkward if you make it awkward.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago

The key is to start understanding that most laughter is not someone laughing at you or with you, it's just laughter. They're laughing. Laugh too! "I really wanted to make a good impression, I'm so embarrassed!" If you focus on talking about how you feel like you e made a mistake they'd probably even give you sympathy.

[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Hmm - well you're looking cold... What do you say we have a bonfire - I came prepared!

[–] BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In this situation the easiest would simply be like that

"what are in the bags anon..?"
"I...I brought books for the burning."
"Anon I was joking about the book burning"
"Oops" proceed to discreetly put the bag of books back in the car or in a corner and continue the party. Maybe joke about it later in the night when everyone is feeling comfortable and ask if you really thought people would be burning books.

Real life is not like movies, it's full of fuck up like that. You can just let it go and people don't care.

It can become a cute story later when people asked how you met.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Act like he went too far with the joke

[–] Ilflish@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He can still salvage it if he's honest and can laugh at himself

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

To shreds you say?

[–] BlindFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"On the bright side, I gave $300 to the cause against Christianity." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Fuck it let's burn stuff 🔥

[–] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 125 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People grossly underestimate how understanding people will be if you just explain your thought process in a calm and reasonable way. If she asks why he went along with it if he thought that's what she was actually doing:

"Look I'm not about the burning books thing but I thought you were cool and I figured I'd just go with the flow and see how things went, worst that could happen is I don't hang out with you again 🤷‍♂️. I'm glad it's a regular party though, let's go hang"

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 63 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Almost no one can think that coherently in a panic situation, however.

[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don’t need to think too hard about what you’re going to say if you just say the truth.

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

The problem is that the truth is pretty damning imo, like if they're able to participate in actual book burning they don't believe in and basically burn $300, I wonder what other dishonest thing they would do just to be liked. Not really something you want to be around.

I'd only be fine if they honestly explained that they knew it is a problem and they're trying to fix it.

[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So it would be better for them to be dishonest again and lie about their issues? I don’t think that would lead to a very healthy relationship.

You can still be honest without telling someone your whole life story. And even if you can’t, it’s still better than lying (and I doubt you’d be a very good liar in that case anyway).

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[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're acting like everyone expects everyone else to be a paragon of virtue all the time. Peer pressure works so well that people gave it a name. People get peer pressured into drugs and crime all the time. Of all the things that Anon could have gotten peer pressured into, a book burning party is honestly one of the most harmless things that he could have gotten into.

The truth isn't damning if the truth is literally just "yeah lol I felt like I had to fit in." People would think you're gullible, but people won't think you're malicious

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Idk, maybe being ready to burn books that go against your ideology registers different for other people, but for me it's pretty far on the "bad" scale.

I don't really have a problem with the being pressured into something, but the exact topic talked about here seems pretty extreme. Of course I don't expect anyone to be a paragon of virtue, but I just wanted to say that someone that burns books would not be something I'd like to associate with, and I expected that that sentiment was pretty universal

[–] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

Idk man if I'm at that point I'm just gonna be honest, it's not a panic for me anymore. I've learned that just being honest is usually the best thing

[–] STUPIDVIPGUY@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

dont panic then

[–] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You gotta internalize it. Can't expect to have "calmly explain why you are an idiot" be the reaction in an emergency situation.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

$300 worth was way too much. Next time, buy like one book that mildly questions Christianity, and say something like “Oh shit, I thought you were serious & this is the best I could do…”

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Bring a Joel Olstein or Joyce Meyers book you bought used.

If it is a legit book burning, throw out a Timothy 2:23-24 as you chuck it in the fire.

[–] cybermass@lemmy.ca 50 points 1 year ago

The autism is strong with this one

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (4 children)

ITT: people believe green text

[–] Sami_Uso@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's just fun to play along. I don't think many people actually believe green text anymore.

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Hypothetical scenarios are still fun to think and talk about.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago

It's real, I was there, trust me bro.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago

I don’t think anyone believes this happened, it’s just a goofy story.

[–] ziby0405@lemmy.ml 39 points 1 year ago

he could have returned the books too though....

[–] Mago@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Just laugh it off and nobody will care

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Protocol in this situation is to go forward with the book burning in earnest.

[–] NKVDawg@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Not only had I never eaten a potato, I had never heard the word potato