this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't think I wanna know

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[–] PeaceNBullets@lemm.ee 42 points 2 months ago

Ceasefire Violation?

[–] the_dopamine_fiend@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago

He died doing what he loved!

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My dog finds and eats squirrel peanuts semi-regularly on walks. It's cuter than when he tries to catch them directly.

[–] snail@lemm.ee 35 points 2 months ago

It finally caught up to me

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

The fucking Russians, of course.

[–] RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Morti@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Morti means "of death" in Latin. I guess I'm going to die of death...

[–] Birch@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The deadliest kind of death

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[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

I'm not sure I want to know...

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

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[–] Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

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[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] TranslateErr0r@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

You wouldn't understand

[–] Birch@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago
[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

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[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's fairly self explanatory

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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Raptured by the One True Dog

[–] lol_idk@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] taxiiiii@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm going to go down with my ship, bellowing orders to my crew until the last.

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[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago
[–] beansbeansbeans@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Lots of beans

[–] oxytocin@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago
[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

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[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 13 points 2 months ago

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

First I am. And then...

I'm not.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

[–] WilhelmStroker@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Furiously stroking my willy.

[–] teardownthewalls@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

[–] FortyTwo@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I guess I'm not growing old

[–] Mobster@feddit.uk 12 points 2 months ago

Sleeping with the fishes

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Boiled alive

[–] BroiledShit@reddthat.com 11 points 1 month ago

I dont want to think about it

[–] bilnkandmissit@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago

I’ll never know. I blinked.

[–] fiendishplan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Something the Scooby gang could have prevented.

[–] Doctor_Satan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] ChronicMasturbator@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 2 months ago
[–] gon@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

I'm already gone...

[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Riskyword@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Derogatory slur

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 2 months ago

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bludgeoned to death with a keyboard?

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[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

Idk, i wouldn't see it coming

[–] innermeerkat@jlai.lu 9 points 2 months ago

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

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