Ask Lemmygrad

I want children, maybe two.

If you consider yourself a Marxist or even simply a "progressive", I feel like the next generation should always be your focus. Our descendants keeps everything that has happened, everything currently happening and everything that will happen in motion, so that can't be ignored if you have revolution on your mind. If someone personally does not want kids, I feel like they owe it to the next generation to be an educator and/or putting their energies into cultivating fresh minds, at the very least. Societal progress will only get so far if we are only concerned about what our current generation is doing — we have to think of revolution as laying the groundwork for people who aren't even here yet. That is truly our best and only hope.

It appears to me that depression and stress drives a lot of leftists into a pessimistic, self-destructive outlook, leading to anti-natalist views, but it is important to remember that human beings are not a curse — human existence and procreation are not the cause of our woes and we should not individualize larger issues, it is the systems and institutions of imperialism that are the cause and the curse.

It is not a big deal whether someone wants kids or not, but it is imperative that we do not slip into reactionary tendencies that will kill off the movement. I struggle with an uncertainty of the future as well but we must have revolutionary optimism that allows the working class to hold onto their imagination and creativity.

I personally don't want children simply because I don't have that drive or urge or something that people have that makes them want to have kids.

Why I don't? No idea. From my perspective people who want kids seem a bit weird. But to each their own I suppose.

Partner and I recently had our first kid, and it's the best thing we've ever done. Also the most stressful.

We did wait though until our mid thirties, and that seems to be more normal now. I can't imagine having a kid when my parents did, I don't know how people can afford that now.

I had abusive parents, so I wouldn't know where to begin with raising a kid. If I was even 1% as bad as they were I would consider myself a failure. Much better to just not bring someone into this world than to fuck them up as bad as I was, or fuck them up in strange new ways that I could never see coming.

Part of me would have liked to have kids but given the material conditions of my life it would have likely ended up as a miserable story.

Early in my life my parents were taught the lesson of precarity under capitalism. I picked up the lesson and I could never shake it. As I came to working age I knew that no matter how hard I worked chances were good that everything I had built up would be dashed away. I could see that there was no way I (or most most millennials without generational wealth) would ever own a home. My future was quite obviously to work hard so landlords, capitalists and petti bourgeoise could live comfortable lives. I didn't put it in these terms at the time but wrecking my mental and physical health supporting the rich and producing one or more future laborers for capitalism to exploit seemed stupid. Instead I did personal austerity and worked as little as possible.

The only way to minimise your losses when you are forced to play a rigged game is to play as little as possible.

My lady never wanted kids for her own reasons and that's fine with me.

I want kids but my girlfriend is unsure. I just really want to be a father and the responsibilities associated with it.

That's perfectly valid. I was rather miserable for the large chunk of my adult life and I'm afraid I might somehow inflict that on my children too. I am not against adopting or taking care of my potential partner's children in the future, if I sort my personal stuff. (:

I lean left like most intelligent people.

I do actually want a child, i know it's hard. But several instances and things beyond my control and this current political climate. Absolutely not. And being almost too old, we'll I guess it's fast becoming not an option.

So on my soapbox for a minute.

Most liberals would actually have children, if you make the environment supportive of those who choose that option. Being in the US i can assure you, it's exactly the opposite in this dumb country. It's a liability, it's cruel, its harsh. There's barely any incentive beyond not having your bloodline die out.

My gf and I want 2, but that's a long time from now, and I'm uncertain if we'll be able to stay together for that long and not be pulled apart by circumstances.

I was going to write a long drawn out wall of text to explain my thoughts and reasoning, but to just summarize...
I would have liked to have had kids years ago, but I also knew that the future for any kid is going to be grim. They should not have to be forced to deal with the societal and environmental collapse that is guaranteed to happen. Especially for my country there is a zero chance that kid will have a good life. So I just won't. Maybe I'll adopt, since at least that's saving a victim and not contributing to more miserable children, but I cannot conciously bring a child into this existence which I have no hope for.

This is the perspective of someone who doesn't see a future for their country. There are still places in the world that still have hope for their civilizations. I just have none for mine.

I had an abusive parent so I wouldn't know what to do with children even if I had them. I don't even know how to interact with other people's children, so I instinctively avoid them. Also I find a lot of people's children to be annoying/exhausting. I think seeing parents playing with their kids is nice, but I can't ever imagine being in such a position myself. All I have right now is myself and I don't see that changing.

It would be very difficult but if all the chips fall into place I do like the idea of having kids someday. ^^

I would like to have a kid, but can't afford to. My wife also is trying to get her career off the ground and so we are not really in the best position. I'm well off enough for our current life, but if we move to a bigger space and have to start paying for all that is required, the math doesn't math anymore.

Maybe in a few years we'll reconsider before we are too old

I think I would’ve liked having children in the future, but it just isn’t in the cards for me. I am “selfish” in that I don't want to go through the “normal” process of having kids, and all other methods are incredibly unethical, at least under capitalism (I don’t know if they could ever be ethical).

We were thinking of having kids, but things became harder financially, and we really began to enjoy our free time. Plus we have a few friends with kids, and they don't seem very happy, and nephews. So like, that's probably enough.

I'm not really interested in having sex, but there are certainly other ways of having kids. I just also don't think I am (or likely ever will be) in a mentally stable enough position that I feel like I could care for a child. I can barely care for myself and require a good amount of support to do so. So no, kids are very likely not in my future.

No way. Can't even handle myself 24/7, let alone a child with me. Having a child under the nuclear family model is more responsibility than most humans can handle. But I like dealing with children for limited amounts of time, so I could always help out family or close friends with theirs, besides all the students I'll have in the near future.

However my utopia world would be one where children are raised by the community rather than the birther and maybe the birther's partner. That's one thing I miss from rural life.

I never really wanted children and I am still leaning towards that, together with my partner, though things might change in the next few years. It's not that we hate children or something, not at all. We have wonderful kids in the family. Just not interested in having them myself.

Asexual reproduction is impossible for humans so even if in some alternative timeline I wanted, I can't. But I wouldn't either way.

Admittedly it's not just kids, for me there's literally no point in marriage, having kids, any non-familiar/friendly relationship etc, and all that stuff, concept's completely alien to me.

Besides I'm not a fan of little kids in general, past like 10-11 they're totally alright, but younger no way.

I was abused by my family growing up and am worried that I wouldn't know how to be a good parent. That is the main personal reason I don't want to have children.

I also don't think it's a good idea for societal reasons. With the way things are currently going, in my opinion there is a near zero chance that upper Gen Alpha/Gen Beta is going to have a pleasant future and wouldn't want to put a child through that.

I could afford a wife and kids and am not opposed to it, but I am just too unlikable for that to even matter. Lol

I could probably be a good parent, but I could also probably put that to the test by doing teaching or something, without the need to try to have kids first. Of course, this is assuming I found someone to have kids with in the first place. Anyway, I tend to have mixed feelings about it. It appeals to me on some level, but it would also be a huge commitment to take on and one I'm not currently well-equipped to handle materially. When I'm on dating apps, I tend to put like "open to kids" cause I don't feel closed off to it like some do who don't want children, period. But I could not say I'm actively pursuing the idea either. It also just feels a bit weird to think about as a decision I make at any point, since I'm not the one who would be bearing the child. I know it matters though insofar as I'm looking for someone who wants the same thing. But since I'm not sure what I want and some of it for me depends on things like financial stability, that makes it harder. If I lived in a socialist state where financial stability came relatively easily, as did community support systems, I'd probably be much more into the idea. But in the US? Sometimes I wonder how much can hold together before weeks become decades. So it's hard to even think about a lifetime commitment like that.