I'm kind of in the same place. I'm on a waiting list for an assessment. I have two therapists (one individual, one couples) and they both operate under the assumption I am AuDHD. One is autistic herself so I take that as peer review lol.

Here are my pros and cons:

Pro:

• Possible workplace accommodations. Work is very chill about needs but I would feel less guilt about asking for something someone else told me would help.
• Help identifying what accommodations I could use
• Giving me a "reason" for why I am the way I am - justification to make life changes to be more healthy and happy (vs being an absolute failure who deserves to work myself into an early grave).
• I am in a leadership position in my industry - I feel like it's my duty to let my freak flag fly, so to speak, to allow others to know they are not alone. Diagnosis would be validating and make me feel comfortable saying to a wider audience "I'm autistic". Lets be real, the ND% in my industry is well above average (extremely niche engineering discipline) but it would be nice to see people be more open about it.

Cons:

• My boss's boss is ableist as fuck although I suspect she's ND as well. I don't want to leave my job but I will not put up with any of her shit if she decides to comment on this. She's already made ableist comments to me about people being ND without knowing I am ND.
• I worry about the ability to immigrate in the future. I have no plans to, but I know that I wouldn't be able to move to my current country if I had a diagnosis. (I don't think it needs to go on my medical file as it's done outside of the health care system but IDK).
• I worry about the ability to travel to the states. I have no desire to do so currently (even though there are so many trains I want to ride and so many nature I want to see) but I do have aging family there. I was already nervous going last year with my ADHD meds but we drove and it didn't come up, but I feel like border crossing is only going to get worse.

I went through something similar last year. My conclusion was that I don’t really need any of the minimal accommodations available to people with autism (especially at this point in my life, almost 30). That and “bragging rights” are really all an (expensive) diagnosis will get you. I’m not planning on being a spokesperson for autistics but it has been incredibly helpful for me, my partner, and my friends as a sort of framing mechanism to understand how I respond to things.

Have you considered taking an online autism test, like RAADS-R? It's not an official diagnosis or anything, but it is a second opinion of sorts.

Idk why I saved this but this is a Venn diagram that shows Autism traits, ADHD traits, and their overlapping traits. Maybe it might help?

To me, personally, reading Unmasking Autism was a good starting point to understand why self-id is valid, and even desirable in certain circumstances.

That being said, the person assessing me for ADHD had similar suspicions about autism, too. When I brought this up with my therapist they agreed, but they told me to wait till I've tried my adhd meds, because depending on the medication, the autistic traits might exacerbate or be mitigated, and it would provide a more complete diagnostic landscape for you, than just doing it pre-treatment.

I personally thought it made a lot of sense, so I put the autism assessment on hold, and now I'm on the road to get meds as well, considering an autism assessment in the future (which tbh I don't really need so if I don't go through it, it won't make me any less understanding of the ways I function, and the accommodations I need)

It’s no one’s business to know whether you have an official diagnosis. Many people aren’t able to, or choose not to get an official diagnosis for many reasons. If you have done research on autism and believe you have it then that’s valid.

Whether or not it would be beneficial to get an official diagnosis depends on your situation. If you live in the US I’d personally not get one right now since weird things are happening there and for some reason autism is one of the topics of interest for the fascists. However if you are struggling financially and there is a possibility a diagnosis could get you some benefits then that might be a reason to get a diagnosis.

So many great responses, thank you all.

It touched upon all my concerns and questions, and further avenues to do research when I have the time.

I think I’ll stick with self-identification for now, and use it for mainly personal and social settings. I think the sort of accommodations I would get with an official Autism diagnosis is already covered through my ADHD diagnosis, at least at this stage of my life.

We shall see if this remains the case as I progress through the tiresome testing of the ADHD meds, but I’ll not worry about the costs and additional work for now.

Yeah I got "only" diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, because back then "you can not have both" was the thinking. AuDHD is relatively newish and is massively underreported. And my way to getting a diagonisis was reading up other people's experiences and talking to friends. One of my friends (he has like a background in child psychology), even asked me if I was, as we got to know each other.