this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Theres 2 kinds of men, those who jerk off and fucking liars.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

true but... linkedin?

linkedin?

[–] bunitor 2 points 23 hours ago

me when i jack off to sleep in the cafeteria

[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 day ago

Linkedin is comedy heaven, I always lough with the content.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 169 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I took a fat, greasy shit today.

Yeah, I admit it.

And I'm sure many of you out there have taken your fair share.

But why am I bringing this up?

For two reasons:

  1. Because no topic is off limits and
  2. Because it's important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

There are some things that need to be done in moderation.

For some (including myself), questionable food is one of them.

Be very aware of the things that if you do too much cause more harm than good.

Carry on.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As a European, the only information I have about Chipotle is that makes you shit greasy and greatly. Sounds like something straight out of Idiocracy from here.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

It’s not actually bad as long as the chipotle you go to is decent. I’ve never had trouble eating it; was only joking. They use fresh ingredients which is more than a lot of American fast food can say

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] wieson@feddit.org 4 points 21 hours ago

bookcover

About the little mole who wanted to know, who had made a doodoo on his head

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bro, apples don’t poop. WTF

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They do, but only when you’re not looking.

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] D_C@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

Eating it is the only way to find out.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

South Park joke about Chipotle making you shit your pants

Chipoltaway ad

More useful than the original.

[–] multiplemigs@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

might want to look in to getting a little more fiber in that diet if it was greasy. drink more water too.

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[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 69 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I do watch porn. But at least I'm on an ANONYMOUS FUCKING INTERNET FORUM so I can say it.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

just for shits and giggles I went through the last 7 days of your comments and took notes:

  • UK citizen (uses currency and talks about local chocolate brands)
  • SteamDeck owner
  • soccer/football fan
  • gamer
  • DRM hater
  • frequent videogame pirate (knows the name of a less popular repacker)
  • work at job about shoes
  • doesn't have a foot fetish
  • boycotting the US
  • Porn watcher (probs older bc you referenced a specific one and people don't do that nowadays)

From this I would have to call every shoe stores in the UK to inform them that there is a miniscule chance their employee watches porn in their free time.

I wasted like 20m on this lol

And to be fair I'm not any better, I doxxed my full location on lemmy once accidentally 😂

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 6 points 20 hours ago
  • boycotting the US

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Except for the foot things; that doesn't narrow it down at all!

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Given access to the right data, even just the first 2 bits would narrow it down a lot.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago

It's a joke that we all are similar to OP.

[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Anonymous? I know your E Mail, IP Address and will analyze all your previous posts

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is email really visible, I thought that wasn't displayed publicly. I don't see your email

[–] modus@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

It's only visible to you. Everyone else sees it censored. Here's mine in plaintext: xxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx

You shouldn't see my email address. Only yours.

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 9 points 1 day ago

I'm disappointed... It looks like all the x.xxx domains were registered in 2012 and are just parked (or maybe the register reserved them? I can't tell). It would have been fun if this could be a real email.

[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

It's visible if I pay $500 to the admins

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There are A LOT of things that are off limits in the workplace.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 78 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The “Carry on” at the end - like he’s stopped you in the street to share this nugget of wisdom, and is giving you a firm pat on the shoulder before sending me on your way.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like to think he is saying that to himself because he interrupted his porn binge to post this.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nothing like a good wank to clear the mind and uncover fundamental truths about the universe

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 4 points 20 hours ago

Worked with a guy who was obsessed with Tim Ferris and his 'Opening the Kimono' philosophy on transparency.

Dude took it really far when he pushed for nude events and "Tell All's" at our company retreat.

Later quit to run some crypto scam.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I had to look up what "digital real estate" is and best i can tell it's something like real estate in the metaverse, hoarding website domains, or some other bullshit

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The future is a dead mall. If you have the time, this is a great documentary on it. Line Only Goes Up is great by him too.

https://archive.org/details/the-future-is-a-dead-mall-decentraland-and-the-metaverse

[–] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just about everything Dan Olson does is amazing

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Mantracks is amazing

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Apparently they look at a lot of porn.

[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"No topic is off limits" and "Be aware of indulgences in your life" are, in my opinion, great pieces of advice that you should apply to your close ones. However, LinkedIn is definitely not the place for this.

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[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago
[–] corroded@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's amazing how someone's job description can say "Scammer" in so many more words.

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[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

you mean the same porn industry that makes billions a year, you mean you are the single person funding them! I couldnt think that people watch that stuff.

[–] Case@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just like that one kid who got caught buying a dime bag of weed. They directly and solely funded terrorism.

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 18 points 1 day ago

Imagine not looking at porn at work, couldn't be me

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