this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago

This sounds like a plot to a Seinfeld episode.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 17 points 14 hours ago

Sounds like the correct response is to stop getting him off

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 108 points 20 hours ago (2 children)
[–] ramble81@lemmy.zip 23 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)
[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago
[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 30 points 17 hours ago

Everything on this post including comments is a disaster lol

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 61 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

including others in your kink without permission is a violation of consent, easy break up - this man does not respect boundaries, and does not practice SSC/RACK

Okay, yes, it might violate consent, but it's also funny.

And it would be weird fir me to say there are times when i wont hold someone accountable for murder for a sufficiently good bit, but not this.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 12 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

How do you know it's a kink?

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 18 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Exactly, he could just be a cop.

So still a reason to break up with him, but a different one

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

*it; he suggests personhood.

[–] RainDog@piefed.social 58 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Because kink is only 3 letters away from oink.

[–] Grostleton@lemm.ee 14 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

One letter away? Unless I'm missing a joke in which case feel free to "wooooosh" me.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 16 points 18 hours ago (2 children)
K - M - N - O
0 - 1 - 2 - 3
[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 23 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago

He doesn't take any L's.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 10 points 18 hours ago

oh shit im dumb

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 17 hours ago

Oink

O->K

Kink.

Oink->Kink

Don't worry, It took me a second, too. Perspective is everything.

[–] remotedev@lemmy.ca 5 points 18 hours ago

LMN I'm guessing

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 11 points 16 hours ago

More importantly, how do we know that he knows it’s a kink?

[–] jjmoldy@lemmy.world 32 points 19 hours ago

she slop my hog til I oink

[–] SanicHegehog@lemm.ee 26 points 18 hours ago

This little piggy went WEE WEE WEE

[–] yourfavkoreanfemboi@sh.itjust.works 27 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

I had an Arab client once. We didn’t speak a common language, and when he’d cum, he’d make a peeing sound - “psshhh” or “tsss” - to let me know…

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

I'm very curious if that's a cultural thing or just a him thing

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 9 points 13 hours ago

This is because in Islamic cultures, pork is forbidden.

[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

tsssss

Was he green and did he have four legs?

Minecraft creeper

[–] yourfavkoreanfemboi@sh.itjust.works 22 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

No, but you could say he… exploded.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

There are so many things I could say to this, yet I have no idea what to say to this, but the fact remains:

Here I see a Korean fem boy making a joke about an Arab boy exploding.

[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 13 hours ago

It truly is a modern society we live in.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 15 points 20 hours ago

🐷🐷🐷

[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

Deeply upsetting.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] 4shtonButcher@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 18 hours ago

Not what I expected to find in this thread but I'm happy I watched it.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Yeah, that’s fine by me. Only oink oink!

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world -5 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

They marked nsfw, why didn't you?

[–] ramble81@lemmy.zip 17 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Did you read this on a bus and start masturbating uncontrollably?

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 hours ago

I already was, but can we agree this didn't help?

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

Nah I read this on a train and started masturbating uncontrollably. It's a shame I was sat at a table seat, oinked all over the people in front.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Ummm is that what happens when you see NSFW content

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Because its safe for work in the sense that you actually need to fully read it. There is no imagery.

Otherwise something like anti ICE stuff would have to be marked NSFW as well because your employer might have a problem with it.

Thats why in practice NSFW only applies to things that instantly would get you in trouble if seen for a only fraction of a second. Meaning images.

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Idk I feel like if my boss saw "c*m" scrolling past while I was at work, I would be in trouble.

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 6 points 15 hours ago

And rightly so. We just call them "serial ports" these days.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

If you open shitposts full screen at work, thats on you imo. I have lemmy configured so the preview is just big enough to figure out whats in the post but too small for anyone to read from a distance

[–] remon@ani.social 14 points 20 hours ago

Probably because it's not needed.