I will bet you all $5 in gringo money that she had a split-second moment of clarity about how she is absolutely going to hell when she shuffles off this mortal coil, had a panic attack, and just needs a way to blame immigrants for it once she regained her normal line of corrupt and abhorrent thought.
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I was hoping it was a puppy attacking her.
the goats, horses, and dogs polteigeists in her house.
Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Basil?
Got me. I loled.
That's... too bad? Anyway, I'm making nachos for dinner.
Holy crap, recipe?
Magic Nachos
Prep time: ~15 minutes
- Brown some ground beef
- Add taco seasoning (per instructions) and 1/4 cup of water. Simmer for 5 minutes or so.
- Arrange Doritos attractively on plate
- Sprinkle with taco meat
- Top with your choice of: diced tomatoes, black beans, diced onions, jalapeños
- Sprinkle with a generous layer of shredded Mexican 4 cheese mix.
- Microwave for 90 seconds.
- Put in face hole.
Oh I forgot the lengthy story of how my grandma used to make these nachos when her terrible neighbor who used to shoot dogs got sent to the hospital. You'll just have to make a family tradition of your own!
Recipe for nachos:
Pile up chips, other stuff from around the house, and cheese, in that order.
Hot until cheese looks yum.
Apply: Red and hopefully spicy, green, or white toppings.
Scarf.
Yeah the plastic surgeons are heart broken. Anyways, what kind of nachos? I like to get the scoops and make little nacho cups.
Have some tacos, too. 🌮
Always TACO, my friend.
Love the edit with photo. It’s nice to know we can trust something online, even if it’s only that !MagicShel@lemmy.zip actually delivered the nachos.
e: missed a word
That looks fabulous. Too bad I had an early dinner and it's too late to eat again.
Oh no. I hope it’s something serious.
I wish her a very pleasant cease to live.
That’s generous!
I hope it’s not pleasant
Related?
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/17/us/padilla-arrest-noem.html
Senate Democrats Want Noem to Testify After Senator Is Pushed and Handcuffed
Democrats asked the homeland security secretary to testify about Senator Alex Padilla’s removal from a news conference and Trump’s immigration enforcement.
She’s a conservative drama queen. She couldn’t be upstaged like that.
Allergic reaction and she is fine. Sadly. https://www.cnn.com/2025/06/17/politics/kristi-noem-hostpital
What triggered the allergy? Was she exposed to ordinary humn decency?
What's she allergic to so we can be sure to deliver it to her in huge quantities?
She’s allergic to Dogs.
Truth, honesty, compassion.
Truthfully, I honestly have compassion for everyone she’s oppressing.
The Constitution.
Hopefully she's developed an allergy to Botox...
That'll affect her for a looooooong time.
1 Month Later
Welcome to the White House, Secretary Loomer
🤮
Hazmat teams are on sight due to the silicone leak in her face.
Eh...
Silicone... Botox... Caulk... Whatever... 🤷♂️
^bummer^ So I just discovered the VINWiki car channel on the tube, gotta say their stories are pretty good. One was about a dude who bought a smuggler’s truck. Not a bad channel at all.
I hope it's gravely serious.
Damn, that's crazy. Hope it was a dog bite lmao
Hopefully for her, she's not treated by doctors and nurses that like dogs.
They should have left her where they found her
Just trying to keep her away from dogs
She's getting fitted for her darth vader suit.
Darth Homeland: Where is Cricket? Is he safe? Is he alright?
Hegsith: It seems in your anger, you killed him.
Darth Homeland: I? I couldn't have. He was alive! I felt it! NOOOOOEEEEEMMMMM!!!!!