this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 22 hours ago

"Quick, spit it into this thermos!"

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago

One man's cum is another man's income

[–] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 22 hours ago

I don't know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Do they plan to make Red Bull?

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Prost Mahlzeit!

[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 22 hours ago
[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

He's a twiggy alien that's severely allergic to dogs

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Did no one see this coming?

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 31 points 2 days ago (3 children)

30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 22 hours ago

There are online marketplaces for it.

[–] remon@ani.social 38 points 2 days ago (4 children)
[–] moody@lemmings.world 10 points 2 days ago

These guys were THIRSTY!

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If only there was a vegan alternative.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

you may not have any of my flower semen.

edit: no that's mean take a teensy piece

[–] F04118F@feddit.nl 1 points 1 day ago

Veganism implies consent.

Do I need to spell it out for you how to get a load in a vegan way or can you figure it out?

[–] Captain_Baka@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?

Taking a bath in style

[–] JustARaccoon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Other farms for insemination, my guess. I'd imagine they're for specific breeds.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I've heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Is nothing sacred?

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I'm thinking it must be at least a bucket full.

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago

The official unit is bull-kkake.

[–] notsosure@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Yes, about one ejaculate.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Creamy and delicious

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?

[–] sudneo@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).

I think it's S3e01

Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Wasn't that one plot point of Man of Steel?

[–] thelittleerik@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

New Jackass Episode???

[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 days ago

Finally, bull milk!

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] instantnudel@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Well it's a little obvious don't you think? Who else would be able to handle this absurd amount of semen? Also what would an average person do with it? Exactly. Only a person that craves the seed like we crave for oxygen would do it. Somebody that literally breaths fresh life (because of semen)

Do you have any reason (or alibi) why it should not be you?