this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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askchapo

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My current partner said this about me on a text chain with her friends:

"Y'all this man's body is not a wonderland, it's a weird vending machine that sells caffeinated sludge & something pretending to be a protein shake."

God I love her.

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[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"..."

-the wind

kitty-birthday-sad

"Fun fact!" - the fact was not fun.

"Smelly butt loveable"

[–] stevatoo@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

A cuddly clam-eating otter

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I'm single, but an econ student called me a tankie in a bar once

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

No partner, but I have recieved some glowing reviews:

"[WittyProfileName2] is a chaos demon, if she can keep a plant alive, so can you."

"A cautionary tale about mad science in waiting."

"She's sustained by her own nervous energy."

"You're a magnet for lost strangers, aren't you?"

"Just some candles and a dramatic throne room away from being a B-tier supervillain."

[–] blight@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police