this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 66 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

I think it becomes the most populous state

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 36 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

And put them all to a catchy jingle

[–] Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 35 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 56 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think we tried that once.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

bible belt and sane people

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

[–] parody@lemmings.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Right thooooo

ugly, poorly dressed

meh ain’t hurting nobody

unintelligible

little our fault innit, also don’t wanna punch down

Get your emotion though not denying your feeling :)

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

From my perspective it's punching back. But there are always exceptions to the rule. My philosophy is "give respect, get respect", not "viciously slander, patronize and exclude outsiders until they break yet somehow still feel entitled to their kindness and expect them to suck you off and inflate your already over-inflated ego".

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago

You need 4 lines. North East, South West, Wastelands.

[–] evening_push579@feddit.nu 24 points 2 weeks ago

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 16 points 2 weeks ago

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 15 points 2 weeks ago

Floxas made me lol

[–] Hubbubbub@fedia.io 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

oh shit.

well, bsd, er, linux-shit... uh.... TempleOS it is!

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[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 weeks ago

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

Utucky

No u.

[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

[–] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago

"Where you from?"

"Middle"

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

I especially like IDiOTA

Also

America's borders

USA borders.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.

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[–] makyo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (7 children)

Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.

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[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maintana most beautiful state

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is that why you hate the internet?

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Internet would be great if it wasn't for all the other computers attached to it.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Those damn macintoshes. Get off my LAN!

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[–] moakley@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I feel for Louisiana getting lumped into Floxas, run by the mutant abomination AbbSantis.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's not actually all that differently stupid.

[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

But the target of basically all the hurricanes

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Flower petal distribution.

Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

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