this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
291 points (99.0% liked)

The Onion

6464 readers
220 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Anything but that! I'll never touch the stuff again!

[–] karashta@sopuli.xyz 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm not really sure how he lives with his head so far up his own ass and, frankly, I don't want to experience it firsthand to find out.

Thanks so much kind internet stranger!

I'll never do a marijuana again!

[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

He's such a douche.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Most effective anti drug campaign I've ever seen.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

No one wants to live like that.

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I quit. I'm never touching the devil's weed again!

It's not worth getting stoned if there's even a 0.0000000000000000000000001% chance of become him.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Not going to lie that did send a shiver down my heart.

If anything weed cools him off, if he didn’t smoke he’d be even more insufferable

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah that kind of makes sense.

The heavy consumers I remember really fried their brain.

Actually thinking about it, and knowing what I know about drug metabolism, it could just be they did so much weed they were just high for a long period of time after they last consumed.

[–] 7toed@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago

Can confirm, am Bill Maher