Ask Lemmy

My train was stopped in the middle of my ride home because of a terrorist attack, I may have missed the last ever chance to celebrate with my great-grandmother because my entire extended family got COVID, my hometown is desperately trying to prevent a huge flood and when i found out that i would be sad and lonely on christmas my muslim friends ghosted me :) So its a mix of some circumstances.

Xmas for me was ruined because I found a guy that was robbed and dumped in the middle of nowhere during my drive.

Helping him fucked up my entire days plans and even the little festivities I wanted to take part in but bloody hell who robs someone on Xmas and then leaves them to die? Ofc I had to help.

The intense rain didn't help. I think I'm ill now.

my mother. asked her to stop bringing up my rapist in conversation with me. she said "ya know other people have problems too." Then she went and had holiday lunch at his house. that was before I was set to drive there for christmas, so instead I stayed home and did nothing. Turns out christmas is just a regular day.

My <1 year old nephew nearly choked to death on a nerf dart. He briefly went unresponsive before the ambulance got there and would probably be dead if both his parents didn’t have medical training.

So I guess it’s not ruined in that he’s still alive and probably okay (still waiting to see if he aspirated anything), but it’s not how you want to spend Christmas! Especially the older siblings watching all this happen.

Humans. Where is my snow?

Not ruined, but pretty fucking annoying. In laws came for a few weeks to visit for the holidays. We don’t see them as much as we’d like, and its nice. But MIL wants to include her sister too - the deadbeat aunt-in-law boomer who still can’t get her shit together for over 70 years. Whatever - we tolerate it.

Except she fucking shows up sicker than a dog and is hacking non stop. You know the kind of coughs where you can hear gallons of snot being coughed up - ya that. Wtf - I give it one week and we’ll all be miserable with that exact cold/flu/covid whatever the fuck it is. Fucking loser boomer bitch who thinks of nothing but herself. Sigh.

In order of worst to bad..

My cat of 14 years had to be put down, my parents gifted my sister nearly a half million dollars with the reasoning that she needs it more (with the " dont worry, we will even it out later"), my wifes mom semi disowned her ( not sure exactly what this situation is) and wifes dad is playing favorites with step kids.

My Wife's Father. I don't care for him even if he has changed following a letter she wrote to him saying she'd be out of his life if he didn't. In the past he beat her Mom and put my Wife through constant guilt trips. He honestly has changed a lot since the letter and he does very well with his grand daughter, but I just wanted to be home with my wife and daughter after working 70 hours out of state on a retrofit job. My Wife's mother and step father will be visiting new years weekend. I just want it to be my family, but my Wife needs the help watching our daughter while I'm gone for work, so I just put up with it like any decent human would.

The religious fruitcake portion of my family. I'm so tired of listening how they're afraid of everything. This year it was the horror of how my state legalized weed, abortion, and some Disney movie had "gay stuff" in it and how thats bad because the movie is meant for kids.

Israel

Gaza (with the IDF nearly expanding into Syria) reduced my Christmas spirit to 10⁻⁷ well before today. A second cold in the season (with distinct symptoms different from the first) kept me from the family dinner today.

But my wife was dismissed from a 13-year job as an chief administrator of a medium sized general contractor, having been the boss' personal assistant above her office duties. He retired, and the new exec is cleaning house (and is making some bad management decisions). So ours is going to be an It's a Wonderful Life Christmas until we know what our future looks like, and whether we get the good ending or the bad ending.

Update 2023-12-27 Today my wife was hired. It's a significant pay cut, but it's working for a nonprofit she believes in serving a good cause (which is way better than the cutthroat construction industry). I anticipate she'll be happy there and all that's left to work out is how we're going to pay a few more bills. So, we're headed for the good ending.

Working in food/retail has completely destroyed all holiday spirit for me entirely.

It doesn't matter the holiday. Holidays just mean my job gets harder with no extra compensation. The customers are more hostile and aggressive and it's just an overall shitty time.

And it happens multiple times a year

No one, can you believe that?

For Palestinians, definitely Israel

Nothing did, I had a good Christmas :)

I slightly chipped my fingernail polish.

Xmas is fucking RUINED.

Disneyland was charging $1850 for five people for one day at Disneyland and one day at California Adventure, genie plus (some kind of fast pass replacement), and then has the gall to make some rides ineligible for the genie plus and instead you have to pay $28 a head for the fast pass. Why can't we just wait in line? Why did the mouse feel the need to monetize every single interaction in the whole park? As great as the design is in Disneyland, definitely left a sour taste in my mouth knowing that a poor family has an objectively worse experience than a rich one, especially on Christmas. Some rides had a 90, 120 minute wait.

Man, I read these comments and I can relate to so many of them. But honestly, this year, nothing. We've recently moved to an area that's more healthy for our family. I have a partner who's not abusive. My kids and myself are getting the mental healthcare that we need. It's snowy outside! We have a Christmas tree and presents! It was not amazing; there was nothing over the top or spectacular. But there was nothing bad. Damn, that feels nice.

Surprisingly, Christmas wasn't ruined this year.
My mother did try, though.
When my brother in law presented the baked pumpkins he had made, she told a "funny" anecdote about how everyone looks forward to pumpkin season in autumn but is sick of pumpkins by Christmas.
When my sister in law told about their church visit and my MIL chimed in about how nice the pastor at that church is, my mother brought up the Catholic church child sexual abuse scandal.
Then she started to rant about Trump. Granted, she despises Trump, but we're having a Christmas dinner in the middle of Germany, we don't want to hear about all he's done which we can do nothing about.

Luckily everyone knows how to deal with it by now, we just go quiet and let her talk until she runs out of steam and then someone suggests to switch to another topic.

Lost my best friend of 35+ years to an overdose back in July, then my 15 year old dog on Halloween. Then my mother got sick a week later and was in the ICU for over a month. Turned out to be a severe liver disease but she doesn’t qualify for a transplant, so she moved to Australia for better healthcare and to live her remaining days with other side of family….

Then my girlfriend lost her job.

So, we didn’t do Christmas this year. Not even a tree. Fuck it. Maybe next year.

My father dying. Haven't had very much contact, but the rest of the family expected some things from me apparently, still don't know what exactly, I just left the hospital silently, like my father left my life when I was four. I'm not really affected by the whole ordeal, but it really really annoyed me over Christmas. That guy couldn't even die without making a fuzz. 🙄

My truck was stolen, suspiciously right around the time Santa should have been there 🧐

My supposed best friends gave me and my husband a bottle of wine for Christmas. I can't drink wine because I have an allergic reaction to something in wine, and they are very aware of this after me having reactions to foods at restaurants we would go to together. So they gave 'us' a gift that I can't actually have.

This comes after my husband and I have spent the last year being there for them through losing their jobs, their car, almost losing their house, and a bunch of other drama. It also comes after we spent all day making a meal free of their allergies, as I always do, and after I spent several days making Christmas cookies that are safe for them.

I don't know if the bottle of wine is cheap or expensive, and it honestly doesn't matter. Last year they got me an ornament for our tree, and it is one of my dearest possessions because it has a small poem about friendship on it. This year's gift stung because of how much of ourselves we gave to them, only for them to clearly pick up something last minute and without any thought.

I don't really have any family or other friends to celebrate with, so the most important people to me besides my husband are them. It hurts to see how little I apparently mean to them in comparison....

I truly thought we were going to get through Christmas with zero racism. Then grandma and grandpa came over. Luckily I was able to steer the conversation away pretty quickly, but it always puts a damper on things.

What 'ruined' Christmas this year was having to go home and spend it with my parents, one of whom is bedridden and non responsive from Alzheimers. It's more akin to a wake where everyone is focused on someone who is dead and there's little joy to be had. I've been doing it now for 5 years and there's no sign that it will end soon.

It is incredibly stressful and morose. Christmas isn't really joyful anymore because Mom could die at any time. The worst part of it is that all of us recognize that she's suffering and so are we, but the government won't allow any other outcome.

Still, the family shows up and puts in the work for caring for her for many reasons, the least of which is that she raised us for almost 20 years. She was a wonderful person and she's owed that, bottom line. It is uplifting in a way because we come together and work together for a purpose and while it's hard and sad, we've bonded over it nonetheless.

But.. what kind of Christmas will we have once she's gone?

I have been coughing to the point that I throw up. Merry Christmas.

My girlfriend of 4 years decided to dump me.

I won't saying ruined but put a damper on.

The gf worked today (yay overtime) and was off at 7pm. I figure ill put the turkey roll im the slow cooker around 4:30ish then start the potatoes around 6. The turkey roll was already thawed so 2 hours should have been lots. By 8 pm the temperature setting is still only 110F. Finally I touch the side and realize its room temp. The ceramic pot is barely warm to the touch. The slow cooker died.

We transferred the meat to a tray and put in the oven. Done in half an hour. Late dinner but still good.

I don't usually bother with boxing day sales, but maybe tomorrow I will. This time I want one with a delayed start timer.

I'm gonna go with the Romans?

Covid with a side order of severe pancreatitis.

Almost checked out permanently just in time for Christmas.

My existence. I'd rather not celebrate Christmas, although preferably any other holiday as well. But I especially hate Christmas. I'd rather just keep going on as usual.

My mom's a hoarder, so first thing is finding some space that will be enough for a Christmas tree in all that trash. That 2 decades old tree that will soon have no more plastic to shed really fits into that atmosphere. Then remove trash from table to put food there.
My parents will then pretend to be a moderately happy family for the next 2-3 days before returning to "normal". (They can't get a divorce "because God forbids it")
There's also the aspect of mandatory gifts. I don't know what you want, you don't know what I want. We could both save money (and generate less waste) by leaving that out. I don't want anything. It's by far worse to deal with unnecessary gifts than simply nothing.
Decorations. Why? It's everywhere. Blinking lights, glitter, chains and whatnot. Just another thing to deal with, another thing to spend money on, more waste produced.
Music. It's like 3 songs on repeat the whole Christmas. Everywhere I go.
TV shows. Suddenly it's all Christmas-themed. All showing unrealistically happy families.

There's a bunch of other reasons, but it's hard to list those. I'd just rather not be conscious during these times, just skipping it.
At least I have a dog.

I'd just rather keep going to school. I wouldn't have to be home at least. And almost all of my teachers are nice. School lunch is also generally good. Oh, and I can take train/bus rides. Those can be quite refreshing. I can be there for hours. If the school ends sooner, I can extend my commute. So far the best one I can take extends it from just 45 minutes to much nicer 6 hours. It includes 2 city bus rides, 1 intercity bus ride, 1 train ride and some time for a walk in a city further away.

My girlfriend lost her job and failed one of her nursing classes, possibly also failing out of the program altogether (all in the same week) and is just being really nonchalant about the whole thing. I'm pretty sure she won't be able to make rent and she'll expect that I'll help out. It's more complicated than just dumping her, there's a child involved, so I'm just like, "I sure as shit hope she's getting serious after the holidays."