this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
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[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 56 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

In the Team Fortress lore, Shakespearacles, the strongest writer to ever live, invented rocket jumping. A few centuries later, Abraham Lincoln invented stairs. He died while rocket jumping up them.

[–] Attaxalotl@ttrpg.network 5 points 10 months ago

He was also BLU team’s first Pyro

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 51 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's well known that ancient dwarves enjoyed the practise of banging rocks together through the shins of the elves. One day, the rocks sparked against each other and set the elf ablaze, and that is how dwarves discovered fire. They loved fire, and used it to set many, many elves ablaze.

From that day, it took 30 years to invent cooking.

[–] sirblastalot@ttrpg.network 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Unless you count roast elf

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Too lean, not enough meat. Practically counts as a vegan diet. It makes sense that a species with shit taste would taste shit.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 44 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Dwarfish folding chairs are studded with gemstones and weigh about 500lbs.

They’re a very inventive people, but refuse to work with sheet metal.

Elves build lightweight folding chairs out of wood.

[–] Archpawn@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is a steel folding chair. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with diamonds. It menaces with spikes of pigtail cloth. On the folding chair is an image of a dwarf and dwarves. The dwarf is making a plaintive gesture.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 27 points 10 months ago

ImplyingImpcations felt satisfied after reading a comment

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Folding chairs do seem a bit more of a gnomish contrivance.

[–] Khrux@ttrpg.network 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Gnomes would make those folding fabric camping chairs with the cupholder in the arm

[–] entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 10 months ago

And also electric folding lawnchairs

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

Elves have fancy grass that won't sully your clothes, and vice-versa.

[–] Khrux@ttrpg.network 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

In my setting I dropped darkvision for dwarves because I wanted to make it scarce, but even the dwarves that don't study light or dancing lights use their many lighting inventions that were developed for underground exploration such as flairs and glow sticks, and gas lighting for their main settlements.

I also gave them all spiderclimb just because I like the way that fucks up how they'd build those settlements as down is only a necessary direction to know when you drop something, even their tankards work at all orientations and are basically sippy cups.

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

"Aye! I could drink to that!"

*bubbly sipping*

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I absolutely love this change for dwarves. May I borrow it?

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[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 10 months ago

dwarves with flares? by the beard! ROCK AND STONE!

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Halflings definitely invented egg timers

[–] Khrux@ttrpg.network 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

They were the first culture to have accurate timekeeping just for cooking.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They needed it, because the other half of their time is spent high, and they kept overcooking their eggs

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[–] gerusz@ttrpg.network 10 points 10 months ago

My setting has technology more-or-less equivalent to Earth's 17th century, and a big chunk of my inspiration is Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle. The books detail the steps that led to the industrial revolution so my setting also has similar early tech, aided by magic of course.

(Airships, for example, use magic derived from Resilient Sphere to make their balloons supernaturally rigid and impermeable, then instead of filling it with a lifting gas they just evacuate all air from it. Their hulls look like solid wood but they are instead a honeycomb structure made of giant spider silk sandwiched between thin wooden veneers to keep the cold air out, and reinforced with the occasional mithral spar. The propulsion is purely magic though, the props are powered by aetherosiphon engines. There are some secret military projects aimed at creating a fully-pressurized heavier-than-air skyship that can actually fly over the taller mountain ranges; since their passenger compartment is not pressurized, a standard skyship's maximal cruising altitude is 3-3.5 kilometers while a trained military crew can maybe get up to 4.5 km.)

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Yeah, that sounds pretty on-brand!

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Elves invented wooden folding chairs and then the dwarves made them from metal for better weapon usage.

[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

"Oh tha's nice. Good grip on the bottom, large top to hit with, large middle for deflection. Too bad ya made it out of this weak wood or it would be an excellent weapon!"

"That is a chair you brute! Was a chair. Now it's fire wood..."

"Ya can sit on it too? Genius! Just needs a place to hold a drink and it could be perfect!"

"... That's a good idea, actually..."

[–] phase@lemmy.8th.world 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I am currently reading Cryptomancer, a game with crystals to do kind of Internet things.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Hmm…a certain author has elves running a car racing team, but that’s not an rpg.

[–] Swamptin@infosec.pub 3 points 10 months ago

I can just picture it now. A dwarven hell in a cell style match. Someone gets knocked back into an open chair in classic comedic WWE style and the whole crowd goes quiet. All you can hear is the collective thunk of thousands of chairs suddenly opening.

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