Comment after comment I always thought the joke was over until rereading it, thinking for a second and then chuckling to myself. Something must be wrong with my head.

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

Golf clap

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago

Well done 🍋

[-] FaceDeer@kbin.social 66 points 7 months ago

What if the basketball fell out on its own?

[-] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 82 points 7 months ago

Basketball miscarriage, straight to jail.

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

Texas will punch her in the god damn face

[-] SoleInvictus@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago

Sounds a lot like traveling to me. That's illegal unless you're a sovereign citizen; then it's the basis to all your bat shit legal arguments!

[-] jaschen@lemmynsfw.com 17 points 7 months ago

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago

She should have tossed it in a dumpster. 🤣

[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

Damn bruh

[-] Jeredin@lemm.ee 11 points 7 months ago

I could’ve forgiven her if she had only spun the basketball around her while in the shirt, but removing it from the shirt….. I can never forgive that.

🤡

[-] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 11 points 7 months ago

Lmao, this one definitely got me right in the ribs. Gotta love ol' onion.

[-] WUPHF@lemmy.ca 9 points 7 months ago

I have a queued-up laugh waiting to be released for this one, since I know little to nothing about basketball, and I'm OOTL.

But this isn't some twisted attempt to get someone to explain it to me, I have faith that'll I'll be able to put the pieces together based on more and more comments and release my pending laughter one day!

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 49 points 7 months ago

Basketball under shirt looks like pregnant.

Taking out like basketball abortion.

Alabama.

Trouble.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 months ago

To steal a YouTube comment: ball is life

[-] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

You are more optimistic than I am.

[-] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

I hope this isn't one of those times where TheOnion was being prophetic 😅

[-] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

She was running around pointing at everyone who refused to take the ball from her, because they all already had basketballs themselves or weren't talented enough to play the game.

[-] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 3 points 7 months ago

Alabama jails children? Some third-world country shit.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 13 points 7 months ago

Satire

[-] init@lemmy.ml 4 points 7 months ago

Alabama literally just executed a man last week with Nitrogen despite the UN declaring it would be torture. Guy apparently writhed in pain for 20 minutes. This is third-world theocracy shit.

[-] datelmd5sum@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Source? People get killed with nitrogen all the time. It's supposed to be painless.

[-] name_NULL111653@pawb.social 16 points 7 months ago

There was no oxygen and CO2 scrubbing... Just a mask with nitrogen. The lungs exhale a mixture of oxygen and CO2, which, if not scrubbed from the chamber, will be breathed again. So in essence they asphyxiated him with his own CO2, and he died of slow CO2 poisoning as reused oxygen ran out (an extremely painful way to die). If they had done it in a hypobaric chamber and actually actively removed CO2 it would have been painless like passing out in an airplane cockpit. So yeah they somehow managed to botch a nitrogen execution with their hillbilly engineering...

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago

An airplane cockpit is a mildly bad example, because even at airliner cruising altitude breathing the air is better than holding your breath; it may take a minute or two to lose consciousness, and you'll get to enjoy the dizziness, disorientation, brain fog and headache for many seconds. There's also the lack of overall pressure; breathing at high altitude is a strange experience, you can feel the lower density. Especially since most people who arrive at 35,000 feet cabin altitude get there in a pressurized aircraft which accidentally loses pressure, which isn't a comfortable experience at all.

On the other hand, imagine this: you're a sailor on a big steel ship. There are void compartments in the hull that are sealed airtight. All the oxygen in the air in there is used up by the rusting steel walls, so now you've got a room that doesn't have any reason to lack oxygen, but it does. You're sent in there to do some maintenance or repair, you open up the hatch, climb inside, everything is fine, you get to the part of the compartment where you're supposed to work, it's dark so you don't notice your vision narrowing, you bend over to get a wrench out of your toolbox, you suddenly feel lightheaded, pass out, fall over and just fucking die. And so does the guy who comes in to try to help you. The air feels the same to breathe because it went from "almost all nitrogen" to "all nitrogen." The CO2 can freely leave your body and doesn't get re-breathed, so it doesn't hurt. In this "absolutely no oxygen in the air at all" environment, you actually exhale oxygen out of your bloodstream, so breathing will kill you faster than holding your breath.

Alabama basically put the guy's head in a bag with extra steps; because he could breathe his own exhaled O2 and CO2, It killed him slowly and it hurt the whole time. "Botched" is the word for it.