That would be the dopest snow white ever
this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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For real. I’d actually go back to theaters for it
I'd pay 3 times the amount of a regular ticket to watch the scene where Terry Crews, in a gorgeous ball gown, is dancing with Prince Charming, and when realizing it's almost midnight, flexes his pecs, and yells goodbye before disappearing into the night.
Prince Charming then goes around trying to find the perfect pec flex. Alternatively, bicep circumference would also be acceptable as a glass slipper alternative.
Wrong movie plot, but I would seriously watch the fuck out of this.
Edit: Get Andy Samberg as the prince and I will fight outside the theatre in a ball gown.
I'm not sure that threatening to fight Andy Samberg is the best way to sign him into a movie. Then again, I don't know the guy...
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How about this: Prince Charming tries to kiss the sleeping Snow White, but she wakes up and beats the hell out of him then lectures him on consent.
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White Chicks II: Bro White
Cinderella would be the prince going around with barbells trying to find the princess (Terry) who can lift them. Only he can carry the prince down the aisle.
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OP memes, but this unironically would slap.
"mirror, mirror, on the wall, who has the juiciest pecs of them all?"
No lie, I would pay double for tickets to terry crews snow white
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A Terry Crews Rendition
Scene 1: Snow White's Introduction
Snow White (Terry Crews) is introduced as a charismatic and strong character, loved by all animals in the forest. He's strong but gentle, charming, and not afraid to show his emotional side. He sings to the animals with a deep, booming voice, a hilarious contrast to the original character's high-pitched singing.
Snow White: (singing in deep voice) "I'm wishing, (I'm wishing) for the one I love, to find me, (to find me) today..."
Scene 2: Meeting the Huntsman
The Queen orders the Huntsman to bring back Snow White's heart. However, the Huntsman cannot bring himself to harm Snow White, who's flexing his muscles and humming a cheerful tune.
Huntsman: "I... I can't do it. Forgive me, Snow White."
Snow White: (flexing) "No worries, man. Everyone has a hard time dealing with these guns."
Scene 3: Discovering the Cottage
Upon discovering the dwarfs' cottage, Snow White starts cleaning. However, instead of the delicate tidying of the original, Terry Crews' Snow White lifts heavy furniture single-handedly and dusts with a peacock feather duster, all while maintaining a contagious cheerfulness.
Snow White: "Well, this place needs a little muscle love. Let's get to it!"
Scene 4: Meeting the Dwarfs
Snow White wins over the dwarfs with his charm and kindness. His interactions with the dwarfs are playful and endearing, unlike the traditional motherly role of the original Snow White.
Snow White: "You guys could use some protein in your diet. What do you say, tomorrow we start the day with a proper workout and a protein shake?"
Scene 5: The Poison Apple
When the Queen, disguised as an old woman, offers Snow White the poisoned apple, Snow White is hesitant but doesn't want to be rude. He takes a bite and collapses in a dramatic, comedic fashion.
Snow White: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? But just to be sure... (flexes arm)...proteins are better."
Scene 6: The Prince's Kiss
When the Prince arrives to awaken Snow White, he's taken aback by Snow White's size. However, he's determined to break the spell. The moment is played for laughs, with the Prince struggling to lean over Snow White.
Prince: "I... I've come to break the spell..."
Snow White (waking up): "Did I hit the snooze button again?"
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Zach Galifianakis as Prince Charming and I’m in
Here's some others I'd be totally stoked about:
- Eric Andre (he really needs a breakout role)
- Leslie Jones
- Eddie Murphy
- RuPaul
- Charming Taintman
Edit: Fucking Terry Crews for both roles!
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Needs to be Steve Buscemi.
He'll play the beast and Danny DeVito will play Gaston
I've always thought this would be a great idea. Play everything 100% straight but the actors are completely miscast. Give me Terry Crews as Snow White and I'll actually go see a movie for the first time in like 10 years
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I'd watch, seems better than 90% of the slop that comes out nowdays.
Bro White
Man. I don't watch much movies but I'd watch this 10 times in row. If it's a comedy or better...a serious comedy. The acting is serious but everything else isn't.
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I wonder how the evil queen would dupe Terry Fucking Crews into eating a poisoned apple. I can only imagine her failing a number of times thanks to his dancing pecs
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I'm only watching if it's 100% serious. Terry acts as he acts and the entire rest of the movie is as written in the script. Full commit, no comedic rewriting. It's just Terry playing Snow White.
Classic movie remade starring Terry Crews should be an entire genre.
I agree 100%.
Hats off to you, Potato_in_my_anus, for my biggest username laugh on Lemmy so far.
If we actually got to try some I might like democracy as well.
I mean if they're going to remake a movie, they should go out of their way to make it as different as possible. I for one would love to see the direction of a film with this casting goes.
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And just like regular democracy, the owners will show up last second to put their finger on the scale 😞
If we can change the complexion of the character, we can change the gender, too! Go Terry!
For the one that looks most right, Gal Gadot is probably the best from this list. For the movie I'm most likely to watch? The Terry Crews version would be worth it even if it sucks
People would absolutely watch this, you just shouldn't over-expose them to Terry Crews like they did with Dwayne Johnson.
I'm only watching if he wins.
Undoubtedly!
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