Programmer Humor

The Intergalactic Ninja Sultan of Revenue Development

When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them that I furiously bang on a keyboard until the computer does what I want.

Remember when they tried to make ninja, Rockstar, and guru a thing?

At some jobs, I can get away with "Señor Developer" or "Computer Toucher". Those are the nice ones.

Otherwise it tends to be "Senior Software Engineer" that carries the least constricting baggage.

I SWEAR big company middle managers hear "developer" and they can only ever see you as an infant who without guidance would just keep coding some absolute random shit and not think about product, market, customers, integration, or prioritize their own work.

Idc, just please don't call me a coder, it makes me sound like I'm a script kiddy.

The Plague.

Code whisperer

(Until i have to deal with legacy code. Then im usually screaming obscenities)

Yes, yes, Engineer is protected in a lot of spaces. Even here. That said the university programme I've attended was to make me into a "Sotware Engineer" not a "Developer". This university is a university for engineers. Obviously I don't have to requalify every year to remain an Engineer, but saying that I am not an Engineer is factually untrue.

I dont care about names but to be offended because it says Software Engineer on my resume is just dumb.

Also we design a lot of crucial systems. (Such as any RTOS, banking systems and so on and so forth)

Engineer, most girls probably wouldn't think twice about software* but engineer has a ring to it. Like doctor.

Dev.

Code Ninja Rockstar Wizard.

An Enthusiast Googler

"The computer guy" which is wrong in all ways but somehow correct

monkey

It'd love to be called not burdened with a completely unrealistic software development plan.

Yes

Not a programmer. I’m a net admin.

Actually my title is “Senior Network Architect”. I hate it. I feel like it detracts from real architects, who have licensure and actual training from an actual school.

I hate it as an architect, and I hated it as an “engineer”, for the same reason.

Yes, there’s a lot of complexity and planning, especially at larger scales. But it’s mostly self-taught, some webinars, and a lot of on-the-job (read: trial-by-fire) training.

When it comes to telling computers what to do, I have no idea what to call it. I write Python scripts and Ansible modules, I guess. That doesn’t make me any of those titles though. Some times I poor-mans deamonize my scripts (while true loop) and pack them in a container.

Using some of the same tools doesn’t make me any more of the same title.

My favourite for myself is garbage man. Shit rolls downhill so it always ends in my lap.

Another good one is fixer like the mob.

Good girl

“Punching bag” is an appropriate title for how the field feels sometimes.

Nah, nah, nah. You all got it wrong. There's one name and one name only: tech support.

Everyone who works on making software is a developer, even people who don’t program at all. people who make art for software work in software development. A “coder” only writes code. It’s more of a task than a job. A software engineer does technical design and probably also codes.

I make computers do useful things.

I think typically A, B, C, and F are acceptable to most people. I certainly wouldn't mind any of those descriptions. D feels antiquated. E is too broad. G just sounds like a hobbyist.

The on-er off-er

Computer code program development engineer, Esq.

"engineer" is different to "programmer". A programmer writes code, while an engineer does more than that, including system design and architecture.