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If we aren't fighting over who pays the bill, we aren't friends and potentially we're enemies
I only request a payback with exact or rounded up amount if the other person is richer than me
idk how I feel about this, it's definitely not this cut-and-dried – it's situational but I've both been the friend who says no worries over coffee or food or whatever and the friend who says "hey pls pay me back the $30-50 for [movie/concert tickets, pricy thing we went in on together, etc.], thanks". but I'm also very much on the low end of income for software engineering (below six figures) and providing for a disabled spouse, which has me (probably unnecessarily) always at least low-grade stressed about money.
low end of income for software engineering (below six figures)
Yes, if you are in the US and you have been in the workforce for >1 year you are being severely underpaid, even for a low cost of living area and the current messed up job market. Check out https://levels.fyi.
It may also be that you have your reasons for staying at the place you're at but I like to let people know just in case. I was unknowingly being very, very underpaid and nearly tripled my salary after a colleague tipped me off.
you're not wrong, but I've interviewed for higher-paying positions and it's always incredibly stressful. I also work for a very small web hosting company (literally less than 10 employees) where everyone's chill and the owner doesn't make an insane amount of money compared to the rest of us, which just feels... I dunno, less awful than working for a big company where the CEO rakes in several orders of magnitude more than I do, somehow?
Yeah I'd sooner lump you in with the barista considering cost of living.
considering cost of living
it's insane to me that I'm making more than I've ever made and still feel almost as poor as I did when my spouse and I were both in school and working part-time jobs. like, early-20-something me would have killed to make as much as I am now in the '10s, and it's just barely scraping by money in '20s.
I make more money than I used to even joke about 15 years ago and I still will never be able to afford a house here.. i'm not scraping by at all but housing is out of the question. If my partner ever left I'd have to leave the state because there's just no way I'm going to live with roommates again
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Honestly it's no wonder everybody is homeless. I felt bad about not helping a guy home last night but I'm a woman driving alone so it was kinda like "wtf why do you think I'd feel safe doing that for any strange man"
Apologies for the non-sequeteur
nah you're good, and also good on you for sticking up for yourself and saying no! I'm sure many men do legitimately just need help, but it's a scary world out there for women and enbies.
EDIT
removed "to an extent" after "and enbies".
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Im very generous with my money and resources, I just did something cool for my friends on Friday but my friends should want to help me pay for shit. I really dont want mooch friends.
I am very ok with the vague favours regime of debt, but I also know some very generous people who have been taken advantage of too much so that they insist on paying back their debts.
Also remember my broke-ass mum basically fighting with my aunt every time it was time to pay (for the privelige of paying) for gas money.
this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2024
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